James Yarger Obituary

tomorrow you will have been gone 13 years. You are now 30 years old. How amazing is
that! we miss you. Sometimes nathaniel goes outside and stands on the front deck and just looks up the driveway for a while. I wonder if he is sensing you, looking for you, as he did often after you left. I also wonder if he is just wanting any brother or sister to come visit. He keeps all that to himself. He has been cranky the last week or so. I think he is sensing that your anniversary is near.
tomorrow I will go to the cemetary and clean it up, it usually is fine, I will take at least one rose over and put it in the vase, for the day. I will probably get roses for the house and we'll take them to Ft collins with us as we go and visit david for the weekend.
Caleb put a great piece on FB yesterday or the day before. It was a navy seal talking about grief, comparing it to waves, and described it a bit. It was very accurate. that's how I remember it and still sometimes experience it. I am not grieving for you but more for me...that you are not here, I can't see how hou would be at 30, not able to watch you as I do the other kids, all grown up and doing "their things". We are all still learning and growing. Life seems so much more demanding, busy, no one has time to just "be" it seems. Technology is changing all the time.
Ben and his family are in TN where he is a trauma surgeon, Rachel and her family are in PA where she is waiting on the 4 th baby to arrive and doing the motherhood, housekeeping, working at Bird in Hand durng the week thing, Joel is living in TN with Caleb. He has a girlfriend who is very nice and is working with a company that restores buildings. caleb is cooking at the club near Ben's place. Peter and his family are in KY where he is doing his residency in anesthesia, Esther is in Snowmass rock climbing and driving busses, Philip is working with matt Kruger's company he has a girl friend as well, david is in FT collins still taking courses, he had his senior piano recital in April, Easter weekend, anna is living on her own sort-of in WP and has a real nice boyfriend, nathaniel is with us content and happy most of the time. Dad is still at pafb working in space command, and I am training to be a life coach and start a business. We are busy, but you are always in my thoughts and heart as are all the family. You going changed us all, and affected the faith of many of the family.I still get teary when I hear a song from the funeral, seeing your friends is a bittersweet thing each time. we don't see many of your friends anymore...they are off doing their lives. Watch over us, if that's ever anything you do, Say Hi to Jesus for me and I look forward to the day we will see you again. love you always -xxoo- MOM

Today it is snowing LOTS!We are suppose to get 2 feet or more within the next couple days. You would love it. I can imagine you finding a way to get snowboarding. With Esther living in Snowmass, you would probably be there, except I don't think they are getting this storm.

David has just called and asked for a copy of your obituary. See,you are still part of our lives, in our hearts and minds, every day. I don't know why he has asked for this today, but he said it was urgent. I am hoping he is going to do a portrait or something.

I decided the best way to get him the best copy was to come to the Legacy site. That led me to the guestbook and here I am.

You will be 25 soon. That is so hard to imagine...you would be off on your own, building your life.

Caleb and I were talking yesterday how you were the brother that played with him the most. I think it was because he had the newest and most fun Lego sets. You both loved spending time in the hot tub with the Lego Pirate Ship. Caleb has shared how you would get him up in the middle of the night and you two would go out there and play for a while. It was an amazing time for him.

He mentioned yesterday that you would have been such a help to him as he has grown. You would not have allowed him to do certain things and would have demanded and helped him do others things that he needed to do.

There was a Facebook entry by Laura Parker showing Matt with Evan on the Thailand leg of the mission trip Evan, Andrew, and Christian went on a year or to after you left...She was mentioning how when Matt met the boys in Thailand and they camped out in the red light district, he had no idea that in a few years Matt and the family would go to Thailand to work at the children's home for girls saved from human trafficking. They came back to the states for a while and Matt set up a ministry and worked in Thailand getting more involved bringing girls and others out of the trafficking world and that now he and the family are back in Thailand leading The Exodus Road ministry saving more and more people from human trafficking.

You were part of the first dreams and imaginings of that Mission Trip. I think you were there with them in spirit as they traveled that year. That trip which God used to move Matt into the ministry he and many others are involved in. I'm sure you and the Lord have been involved in the steps that they took from the birth of the idea of the ministry to the place it is today and all that will be accomplished in the future.

We don't know what the Lord will use to move us on if we are willing and open.

You would have loved doing that mission trip. I wonder what effect it would have had on you, what would be happening in your life as a result of it. Twas not to be...

This has been nice, "being" with you for a time. Miss you, think of you often, and love you always. mom

May 31, 2010

Friday,May 21, 2010 beginning at 5:30 pm, we all celebrated Peter and Lindsay's marriage. You remember, he met her on the Germany mission trip following your trip to Brazil. She was with him during the time the family gathered and tried to make sense of their grief after your sudden homegoing. She is a sweet hearted young woman and will love Peter and depend on him to take care of her, and he will love her and care for her. I think they will be great together and that the Lord will use them mightily in His kingdom.

Everyone came, all the big kids arrived the Tuesday before and were part of all the festivities. Peter and Lindsay lit a candle and we all took a moment of silence to remember you and Lindsay's father after Lindsay and Peter were up front with the pastor and before the pastor began his part of leading the service.

It was a brief moment...long enough for the ceremony, but not nearly long enough to really think of you and what you might think and how you would look up in front in a gray tux and red vest like your brothers were wearing. Evan was the best man...it would have been nice to have you there with them all. I know you were there in spirit...but it sure would have been nice to see you and hug you in the flesh.

That event continued into the evening. There was great joy and much celebrating with great friends, great food, and lots of dancing. You would have had such fun with everyone!

The week that has followed has been difficult here at home. People have been short tempered, grumpy, "down". Caleb mentioned on Tuesday morning that he thought we were all missing you. I think he was right.

We were all together as a family, but not really, because you weren't there. That place in our hearts where your memories reside, where we go to think and feel our way around in the emptiness your being gone sometimes brings, is sore and sad, beating but "not right".

When the family is together no one speaks of you aloud. I wish we would. I would like to hear what the others remember, the memories they carry with them about you. Maybe someday they will be able to. The emotions are still too close to the surface, no one wants to start anything, upset the moment, although you are never out of our thoughts, you are always "with" us.

We have taken care of the last detail left from your leaving us. By the time of the wedding, the stone marking your spot in the cemetary was in place. It is a nice size, not overpowering but large enough to share a little about you. We included "Be Bold", a lightning bolt, and the following scripture verses:Joshua 1:9, Job 37:11-13 and Romans 10:9-11. There is also a vase beside it, in the ground, which we can use but is not really obvious when we are not using it. I am waiting to hear what the others think of this monument...I hope they like it. I hope that through the years it honors the Lord, as your life did, so that even when you are there with Him, others will know what you would have shared about Him through this monument.

So we have passed another family milestone in your absence. Another marriage has been celebrated in the family. They have returned from the honeymoon and now real life begins. Be close to their hearts.

You are missed so desperately but as always we know where you are and we look forward to the day we will be with you. Love to you, from me for all of us! xxxxxxxxxxxxxooooooooooooo

I feel that I need to say something- I really WANT to say something, but at the moment I don't have anything deep or helpful to share. There are no words for how I feel and how much I miss you, Bob. There is always joy and hope that I WILL see you again, and man! that day is going to be Amazing! Because I'll get to see you and the Lord at the same time!! Whoa! I can't even fathom what that will be like:)I mean, you're pretty awesome, but the fact that you are with Him and I'll be there too someday- mind blowing:)
I'm not going to lie, I really miss you and wish you were here. Living where you have the past few years, I'm sure you are glad to be There, but I sure am jealous. Grief is a strange thing: it has you in a strangle hold for a while, then it eases and you can get on with life. But it still shows up at unexpected times and reminds me of how much you mean to me and how good we had it for a while with you in our lives. I can't wait to see you again, and it will be sheer joy to spend eternity reunited with you!

Today is March 10,2010. Yes, it is your earthly birthday. You were born 21 years ago today. A giant double chocholate chip muffin is in the oven for us to share later in your honor. :) I remeber your birth, you entered the world EARLY in the morning, and came very quickly. You decided you didn't want to breathe at first, but with lots of encouragement from the nurses, we finally heard you cry out. All was pretty normal after that. You joined 5 other siblings and fit right in.

It's hard to imagine you as you would be today...the picture of you in my mind is the way you looked four years ago...that will have to do until we are face to face.

Know you are missed and spoken of often, thought of daily for all kinds of reasons...thoughts of you are usually followed by smiles and sometimes tears but only because you are missed and missing so much of our lives now. We want to share things with you, show you things, get your "take" on things, have you taking part with us. Later.....we'll have eternity together.

We try to imagine your life now, the beauty and majesty of it. We wonder what you are doing, who you are doing things with, what children you are holding, what sports you are enjoying with the world's greatest athletes, what questions you have asked, what answers you have gotten.

Just wanted to record thoughts for this day...Happy 21st Birthday, Son!

My distant Andrew -
We have celebrated the 3rd anniversary of your homegoing. It's been that long- yet seems just yesterday in so many ways, and a century ago in other ways.

It was a good day all in all. July 19, 2006 is burned into my heart and mind. I never want it to go away...it's memories bring you here for a bit, a quiet, sometimes teary, remembering bit.

Nothing public was planned except an open invitation for your Memorial Soccer Game put out over Facebook. We had a great bunch of people come-I'll list the ones I remember right off... Heather, Mark, Michael & mom with some beautiful flowers, Christian, Andrew, Evan, Micah, Sasha, Laura, Amanda, Lauren, Natalie, Kevin & mom, Joel, Alex, Peter, Lindsay, Katlin, Philip, David, Anna, Nathaniel (sitting in the middle of the field and everyone playing around him.), Caleb, Jeremy, Cody, Jessica, Chelsea, Jeff, Matt and his mom and 2 dogs, Taylor, Esther, me, Dad, new puppy "Bear", Kelsey, Matt Parker, Laura, and their 3 children, .
You would have loved having the Parker kids there. The youngest, who you didn't get to know here, as she was not yet born, stood on the sidelines with her Dad and watched. You would have spent some time with her...maybe even slowed the game a little for the 3 of them to play, too. It just seemed right to have that little sweet person there.

Everyone played hard and had a good time. The weather had tried to storm earlier in the afternoon; big black couds, thunder, some rain. It was clear, sunny with a breeze, the whole time the game was going and then right at 5:30, the sky clouded up, thunder and sprinkles...we went home to be there for kids coming from the game for spaghetti, so we didn't know just how much rain fell at the field at that time.

Mona had come up and had salad ready for the meal. Everyone hung around for a bit after they ate their spaghetti. A time to just chill- lots of talk about lots of different things. The kids did the firepit with s'mores. The majority of those leaving at fire pit time were not tempted by s'mores, even. They had other things to do, places to go, people to see. Esther stayed through the firepit time and then headed back to Aspen. I hope she took some pictures...hers are always so great. Mine will be distant with people you cannot recognize.

Other Friends and family shared that they were remembering us and keeping us in their prayers yesterday. How special that is for us. It speaks to the power of others sharing the journey and remembering you, too. I can just "feel" God at work.

Amanda's mom shared in a card that everytime she watches all the humming birds around the feeder at the ranch, she thinks of you and then of us and prays for us. How that touches my heart, that the Lord would still bring us to mind to others who hold us up, take us before Him to comfort and strengthen us.

We missed you. We wish you were here to share all that time with us and your friends. But we know you are having a better time in heaven with all the children and family and the Lord. We picture you busy and having crazy fun and amazing worship and praise time.

We treasure the time we had, the times you come to mind, the truth of where you are and that we will see you again. Good by for now, one of my sweet boys.

I try to envision Andrew at twenty ...and he looks the same. I think about the heart I knew (love of children, fun, no concern for stuff - any old rag would do! quiet, singing, plucking) I know he worked at working on education and outher stuff, but he really didn't always make it. His was in a different world of friends and people and caring, playing. I just think he got through childhood without being lock stepped into 'go-with-the-green-light',';don't pick your nose',' 'go take a bath' and on and on. He stayed with the spirit he was born with and was just ready. So without pain or struggle, he was zapped toGod's world naturally. Since then I have experienced Maryellen's leaving. painless, quiet, with all her kids and grandkids,AND THE ABSOLUTE SURPRIZE WHEN I TOLD HER SHE WAS GOING. NO OUTCRY OR OBJECTION, JUST QUIET ACCEPTANCE. Both have been blessed and cared for. Only we feel the pain -- we have had most of the spiritual expectations programmed out of us by 'society'. alas! mjmc/grandma

Hiya, Andrew.
How's Paradise treatin' you? I thought of you all day yesterday... you would've been 20 human years old yesterday. You would be something to see, Andrew:). You handsome man, you:). I still miss you a ton, and I still love you more.
Pirates is the perfect movie for your birthday. Ha! I'm not going to say some dumb, cliche thing... like Jack Sparrow reminds me of you. Oops; I said it;). Oh well.
Miss you, Bob. Love you like crazy. Happy first birthday! You'll get another birthday in a few months... lucky skunk:).
Miss you. May God teach us all how to finish what we still have to accomplish here. You're done; we're still going. I'm proud of you. So excrutiatingly proud. I pray that I can make other people as proud of me as I am of you.. and I pray that I do what God created me to do. Good job, Andrew. You are the one of the best brothers and friends I could have ever asked for. I love you.

We celebrated your birthday yesterday. We watched Pirates as your birthday movie. We thought of you and wondered what you would have been doing on your 20th birthday had you been here. We figured you would be in New Zealand with the other guys. V-team trip would be almost over and we would be waiting to pick you up at the airport on the 24th. But you are there, watching over it all!

how we miss you. How often we think of you. what a different word "hope" is for us with you in heaven where we will someday join you.

we love you still and always. Say "Hi" to Jesus for us all.

It's coming up on Christmas. This is such a special season for us. A special time to remember the birth of our Lord, Jesus. As always, thinking of Jesus, brings so many thoughts of you, Andrew.

I read a statement about grief recently that surprised me by its accuracy. The author mentioned that grief was like a river. She went on to say that the one who is gone is missed more as time passes.

There were some things in this statement that seemed right to me. Grief is like a river and sometimes things flow along smoothly, effortlessly. At times things go by quickly, at great speed as a river's course narrows or travels downhill. Sometimes grief is like white-water rapids, up and down, swirling furiously, with surprising force. It's always changing as the nature of water and rivers are.

The other thing I agree with is that as time passes you are missed more. This surpised me because everyone tries to make you believe that as time goes by it will be easier, it will be more "over". However, that is not the reality for me. The pain is not so harsh, the river-like qualities are experienced more privately, but the memories are more powerful.

Unlike the other children, you are not in the process of making more memories with us. Our memories are limited to those that were already made by the day you left. We have the added memories surrounding your homegoing, the activities and events of the days between that moment and the service celebrating your life and faith. But the service ended the memories made by you here.

Family events have come and gone that you were not physically there to share. Your slow smile was not there. Your sparkling eyes were not there. Your quiet, right-on humorous comments were not there. Your stable, accepting self, awaiting what was to come next, was not there.

Everyone felt it, but nobody dared to mention it; to mention how much you were missed, how much you were wished there, how empty "your" space in the group was. It was more than anyone dared speak of. I pray that as time goes on, we will speak of you more when we are all together; that you will be there with us as we share our memories of you.

One of my prayers for our family this Christmas is that we will bring you into the circle with us again as we remember and speak of you. We will celebrate our Lord's coming to earth on our behalf, we will feel you with us in a supernatural way and speak of you aloud, together.

This is a season of great hope. There is the hope that comes from knowing the Lord is alive and well and active in our world. There is the the hope of seeing you again and being with you and sharing eternal life with you. This hope is real and expectant as we look to the day we join you when the Lord calls us home.

We love you, we miss you, we will see you again.

Dear Andrew's Family:
All day on the anniversary of Andrew's "homecoming", I thought of you ... and Andrew. And then driving home the weather was a reminder of one year ago. Please know you and Andrew have not been forgotten. This memory is ever in my memory and my love and prayers go out to you. Andrew: I'm jealous of you; jealous that I have to wait until the Lord calls me home to experience what you are currently enjoying. But I'm also smiling, for I know that you are forever smiling. With all my love,

For July 19, 2007-
For one year you have been walking side by side with Jesus. You know more about heaven than we can ever imagine. You have had questions answered, mysteries solved, yearnings met, joy abounding. You have seen and done more in this year than we will be able to do in our whole lifetimes. You are living all that we hope and yearn for. Know that we love you still and miss you much and are grateful for the 6337 days we had with you. We are comforted to know where you are and that we will spend eternity with you. You are with Jesus! PTL!

March 10, 2007

We celebrated your 18th birthday today.Caleb says that this was the birthday you were looking forward to the most! Is that true? Rachel sent flowers to let us know she was thinking of you and us on this day. Evan and Amanda came by. We talked about things you all did and some of the escapades you all participated in together. We shared pizza. When Joel, Peter and Lindsay came by we lit an ice cream cake, sang "Happy Birthday", everyone took their turn blowing out candles, (next year we will use trick candles :) ) and then we ate it!!! The part you liked best. We chose The Incredibles for your birthday movie and watched it together.

Birthdays are special days, days that mark the reality of life. We missed your smile and your excitement for the holiday that was yours alone. It was a special time to remember your life and you. We don't forget you any day of the year. You are always in our thoughts. But it was good to share some of our thoughts together.

We miss you, terribly.

We love you still.

To my dearest family, some things I'd like to say...
but first of all, to let you know, that I arrived okay.
I'm writing this from heaven. Here I dwell with God above.
Here, there's no more tears of sadness; here is just eternal love.

Please do not be unhappy just because I'm out of sight.
Remember that I'm with you every morning, noon and night.
That day I had to leave you when my life on earth was through,
God picked me up and hugged me and He said, "I welcome you."

It's good to have you back again; you were missed while you were gone.
As for your dearest family, they'll be here later on.
I need you here badly; you're part of my plan.
There's so much that we have to do, to help our mortal man."

God gave me a list of things, that he wished for me to do.
And foremost on the list, was to watch and care for you.
And when you lie in bed at night, the day's chores put to flight.
God and I are closest to you....in the middle of the night.

When you think of my life on earth, and all those loving years
because you are only human, they are bound to bring you tears.
But do not be afraid to cry; it does relieve the pain.
Remember there would be no flowers, unless there was some rain.

I wish that I could tell you all that God has planned.
But if I were to tell you, you wouldn't understand.
But one thing is for certain, though my life on earth is o'er.
I'm closer to you now, than I ever was before.

There are many rocky roads ahead of you and many hills to climb;
but together we can do it by taking one day at a time.
It was always my philosophy and I'd like it for you too...
that as you give unto the world, the world will give to you.

If you can help somebody who's in sorrow and pain,
then you can say to God at night......"My day was not in vain."
And now I am contented....that my life has been worthwhile,
knowing as I passed along the way, I made somebody smile.

So if you meet somebody who is sad and feeling low,
just lend a hand to pick him up, as on your way you go.
When you're walking down the street, and you've got me on your mind;
I'm walking in your footsteps only half a step behind.

And when it's time for you to go.... from that body to be free,
remember you're not going.....you're coming here to me.

Ruth Ann Mahaffey (author)
©Copyright 1998-2006

My prayers are with your family during this difficult time. May you find peace and comfort in God's shelter. I never met Andrew, but it sounds like he was an amazing person who had a huge impact on those he met. I know Rachel from college and know the light that shines from her spirit for the Lord and imagine that Andrew was probably a lot like his sister. The Lord be with you.

In Christ,

Brittany Westfall

Dearest Chip, Sibbi and Family:



What an honor it has been for our family to have known you these past several years. Watching you with your children - the love, the patience, the guidance, the nurturing, the joy you have expressed with each one. Although you have your plate full with 11 children, you have always taken an interest in my children and their various lives.



As a parent, I am saddened for your loss. As a fellow sister in the Lord, I rejoice in the knowledge we have that one day you will again embrace your dear son Andrew. You are such a great testimony, a great encouragement, to not only myself, my family and the community, but to our Lord Jesus Christ.



You know how much we love and treasure our friendship with you!



Love,

The Griffin Family

Shocked to hear of your loss. We join you in your grief here on earth and in the comfort and joy of knowing Andrew is present with the Lord.

Dear Yarger Family,



We knew about your Andrew and what a special young man he was from the memories Matt has shared with us. We are so sorry for your loss. Please know that you will be in our prayers in the days ahead.



May God fill you with his grace, surround you with his love and give you peace.



David and Cynthia Parker

(Matt Parker's Parents)



Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted" (Matthew 5:4).

We Are Saddened To Hear About The Death Of Andrew



We Are Praying For You And Your Family During This Difficult Time



The Edwards Family (Larry, Coleen, and Lauren)

I praise the Lord that James lives for all eternity!!My heart and prayers go out to the family...losing a child is a life long heart ache (I too walk this road) Yet the Lord gives us comfort! May you see His loving hand,today, tomorrow and always.

"There is not pit so deep, that HE is not deeper still" Corrie ten Boom

In Him,

Poppy

PS 27:13, 14

I don't know your family and had never met Andrew, I wanted you to know how your son's death has saddened me. May the days and months ahead be blessed with his memories for you and yours.

It has been a pleasure watching Andrew grow as well as your entire family. What a thrill to watch him play soccer, he had such passion and skill. We pitied any poor fool who would try and push him around because Andrew wouldn't stand for it! We always knew the retaliation was coming...and it always did! We loved all the different fun hairstyles he sported and that smile! In your sorrow, we hope you honestly know and FEEL that you are in our thoughts and prayers. We love each of you and pray that you will find strength and comfort each day ahead.

Love,

The Youngs...Kirk, Ronnie, Michelle, Chad, Elusha & Lena

Andrew was an amazing friend. He was totally crazy and on fire for God. He was a great spiritual leader to me and others and I praise God for that. I'm so greatful that I got to be a friend of his.

So very sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you.