Ronald McNeil Obituary

Ronald James "RJ" McNeil

April 8, 1973 - June 28, 2025

Ronald James "RJ" McNeil, 52, of Helena, Mont., passed away at home on Saturday, June 28, 2025, following a two-year battle with cancer. RJ was consistently described as a kind, respectful, patient, selfless, and reliable man by the people who knew him. He was a loving husband, father, son, brother, and friend.

RJ was born in Helena, Mont., on April 8, 1973, to parents Dwayne and Yvonne McNeil. His family, including his parents and brothers, John and Paul Toccafondo, lived on Douglas Circle, a place RJ always spoke of fondly. He spent much of his childhood playing outside at Douglas Circle as well as at Jim Darcy Elementary School. The friends he made as a child developed into lifelong friendships. RJ completed middle school at CR Anderson and went on to graduate from Capital High School in 1991. He continued his education at Gonzaga University for a short time, before transferring to Carroll College to complete his bachelor's degree in biology. During this time, he worked at East Side Animal Clinic where he was able to apply his deep love for animals.

RJ met Heather Lewis in 1997 at a mutual friend's bachelorette party, and they went on to marry in 2001. RJ and Heather were each other's one and only, and together they welcomed four children, Mitchell, Maddie, Jack, and Erin McNeil. RJ worked at the Lewis and Clark County Courthouse as a Court Services Officer, a career he enjoyed for 24 years. Additionally, RJ was steady in his faith and was a dedicated church member, volunteering much of his time teaching Sunday School and leading AWANA at Life Covenant Church. In 2023, RJ was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer, a spindle cell variant of rhabdomyosarcoma. Even during his fight against cancer, including when he lost his ability to speak, RJ continued to prioritize his children by playing games, completing puzzles, and watching game shows or his favorite sports teams together. Go Mariners and Steelers!

RJ golfed for the majority of his life. He was a part of the Broadway Bombers men's league golf team for over 15 years, maintaining his role as a captain even following his cancer diagnosis. For years, RJ was dedicated to his men's Bible study group and was steadfast in his desire to gather and share meaningful conversation. He was an avid birdwatcher, and would take the time to identify any unfamiliar chirp or tweet when he was out and about. RJ was a lifelong learner and spent much of his time reading books, looking up unfamiliar words in the giant dictionary he lugged around, and identifying passing planes or new flora and fauna using a variety of his favorite apps. The McNeil home was never quiet, as RJ was always playing music, eventually adding his kids' favorite artists to his own collection. And finally, RJ's love for photography was a gift to all who knew him. He captured each and every moment, leaving a legacy in images.

Above all else, RJ's greatest gifts in life were his children and wife, and his greatest joy was to simply spend time with his family. He taught each of his children to ski during trips to Whitefish, often skiing backwards to capture their budding skills on film. RJ always looked forward to the annual summer week in Big Sky, eating Yeti dogs, enjoying the lake, and exploring the area hiking or driving through Yellowstone. As much fun as these trips were, RJ didn't need to leave home to ensure he made the most of every moment with his kids. Many of his weekends were spent at the baseball diamond, in the stands of a volleyball court, or listening to piano recitals. He would always let his kids place the final piece of the puzzle or even fix their broken Lego sets when they were dropped. RJ was the first to ask to play a family board game, would never back down from a golf trip in a thunderstorm, and always said yes to a sweet treat after dinner (especially if it was lemon flavored.) He was an amazing, committed husband who always took the time to care for his wife. RJ's love was loudest in quiet moments with his family, and his steady presence will forever be missed.

RJ was preceded in death by his father, Dwayne McNeil; mother, Yvonne McNeil; and brother, Ken McNeil.

RJ is survived by his wife, Heather McNeil; children, Mitchell (Kassi) McNeil, Maddie McNeil, Jack McNeil, and Erin McNeil; siblings, Wendy (Kent) Shelman, Thomas McNeil, John Toccafondo (Lissa Huntington), and Paul (Liz) Toccafondo; sister-in-law, Catherine McNeil; brother-in-law, Scott (Carmen) Lewis; and sister-in-law, Kellie (Peter) McBride; father-in-law and mother-in-law, Larry and Karen Lewis; numerous nieces and nephews; and beloved pets, Dash, Vi, Eddie, and Momo.

RJ's family would like to thank his care team at St. Peter's Health for their unwavering support throughout his cancer journey. RJ continued to find comfort in their care up until his final day.

A funeral will be held at Life Covenant Church, on Tuesday, July 8th, at 11 a.m., with visitation beginning at 10 a.m. A reception will be held at Life Covenant Church immediately after the service. Following the reception, a graveside service will be held at Forestvale Cemetery. Please visit www.aswfuneralhome.com to share condolences and memories of RJ.

In lieu of flowers, please consider donating to Angel Fund Helena to support local youth or to St. Jude Children's Research Hospital.

Anderson Stevenson Wilke Funeral Home

3750 N Montana Ave.

Helena, MT 59602

406-442-8520