Marilyn Gunderson Obituary

MARILYN JEAN GUNDERSON was born on July 20, 1944, and lived a full and rewarding 81 years, passing away on July 8, 2025.
There are some people who take life as it is, and then there are people like "Spicy Marilyn," who grab hold of whatever is in front of them and make change happen. She didn't just make lemonade out of lemons, but whipped up lemon meringue pies.
Marilyn was born in Los Angeles to Merle Stockton, a single woman without means to care for a newborn or to raise a daughter, and so Marilyn was given over to the State. Her first two to three years included rounds of medical treatment for neonatal diseases, and then rotating placements in homes and institutions. Marilyn changed all that when her father-to-be, Ralph Gunderson, walked into an office where the social worker was watching over Marilyn for the day. Marilyn, like grabbing the prize ring on a merry-go-round, "Having memory only of brown tweed pants, brown shoes and a green tile floor I chose my family by placing an arm around the leg of the person wearing the brown tweed pants." Ralph looked down into those big beautiful brown eyes, surrounded by brown curly hair, and in that instant Marilyn found a way into his heart and home. Marilyn never expressed bitterness for her birth mother giving her up, but instead expressed gratitude for the decisions that led to her life as a daughter to Ralph and Camilla (nee Martin) Gunderson, and little sister to older brother Eric. She became a beloved member of the Martin family as well, with aunts, uncles, and cousins. Ralph and Camilla encouraged Marilyn to be an independent thinker and take responsibility for her life. She loved growing up in Porterville, CA and was devoted to 4H. As a young woman, she entered a beauty contest just to see what would happen. Her father warned her she couldn't win, so she brought home 2nd place just to be contrary.
Her drive resulted in many interesting adventures. After finding college academics unappealing, she enrolled in the US Marine Corps at the age of 22. The Corps gave Marilyn opportunities for growth, but she probably changed it more. She described declining the mandatory march to Church on Sunday: The first week in Boot Camp I was a little intimidated. However by the end of the second week when they wanted the platoon to line up to march to church, I declined. Didn't realize it then, but I could be risking being sent home. I simply explained I had joined the USMC to protect the US Constitution!! After a bit I was excused from mandatory attendance.
The Corps recognized her intelligence and agility with words, sent her to journalism school, eventually giving her the job of editing the base newspaper in Barstow, California. While there, Marilyn met her future husband, Manfred Robert "Bob" Olson, and they were granted permission to marry. At the time, female Marines were not given the same family benefits as their male counterparts. Marilyn fought for equal benefits and was in that fight when she became pregnant. Although she was compelled to separate from the service, her fight for equality has benefited every female Marine that followed. In 1970 she gave birth to Manfred Bradley at Camp Pendleton, followed by daughter Ericka Camilla in 1971 while she and Bob were enrolled in school in Sacramento. The family moved back to Oceanside shortly after. Despite her marriage ending in divorce, Marilyn and Bob cherished their family, co-parented and eventually settled into friendship toward the end of their lives.
Along the way, Marilyn sought other ways to serve, working many years at Mira Costa College on behalf of Veterans. She subsequently met Van McCormick and after several years they married. Life with Van offered the excitement of multiple moves and career changes including living in Texas, Germany and Pakistan. Marilyn recalled with joy having her children touring Europe with her during that time. After the marriage ended, Marilyn returned to Oceanside, to her work at Mira Costa College until her retirement in 2004.
Marilyn's spontaneous willingness to jump into adventure then led to an online, sight unseen purchase of a home in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho, a move both to be close to childhood friends and to experience a different part of the country. After living there for a time, she met and married Roger Barker. This led to a move to the Benewah Valley, where new cherished friends enriched the next several years of her life. She immersed herself in projects and programs that benefited the surrounding community. Just as with everywhere she lived, she was beloved by the friends, neighbors, colleagues and associates she came in contact with, even when they didn't quite know what to do with this liberal Democrat. She campaigned for local office, gaining an impressive 30% of the votes. Marilyn was co-founder of the Benewah Human Rights Coalition with Christina Crawford. When Bob Weems, former mayor of Plummer ID, heard of Marilyn's passing, he aptly remarked, "Marilyn was a kick in the ass."
As an American Legion member she continued her work assisting veterans in preparing claims and obtaining their full military healthcare benefits through the VA and helped to organize the highway dedication ceremony dedicated in recognition of veterans who've received America's highest military honor. Marilyn was a valuable board member of the Benewah Humane Society helping to develop its bylaws, policies and procedures. She was involved with the inception of the feral cat spay neuter program, helped set up the surgery, and wrote grants to keep the program going. She adored living on the Benewah in the home that she and Roger built. The marriage ended in 2018, resulting in Marilyn leaving Idaho and returning to her Oceanside roots.
Along the way, Marilyn survived heart disease, a heart attack, breast cancer, and then was diagnosed with colon cancer in 2020. Despite the advanced stage of the disease, the excellent care team at UCSD were able to provide several years of quality living. Marilyn was grateful for the care and partnership at every step of the treatment pathway. Ultimately, the cancer symptoms began to dominate and, as at every phase of her life, Marilyn wanted to be in charge. She elected to enter hospice care, giving her family and friends the opportunity to share stories and precious time. True to her nature, to the very end her focus was on how she could help or comfort her friends and family, to continue building her community, and to defend her country and those who sacrificed and served. She died at her home surrounded by her family, and is survived by her son Brad, daughter Ericka, son-in-law Greg, granddaughter Noa, grandson Jack, and numerous cousins, relatives and friends who cherish the memories she gave them.
Friends and family who wish to honor her memory are encouraged to consider donations to:
Barn Cat Spay-Neuter Program
Peggy Imbrie
Hopes Haven
53 Robinson Lane
St Maries, ID 83861
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