Reed Ohlbrecht Obituary

Hey big guy,

20 years tomorrow. Funny thing is, I retired after 25 years at the Sheriffs Office and now work at Faricy Boys Jeep. A couple of people there still remember working with you to include Mr. Faricy. I proudly told them you were one of my best friends and it was my mission in life to make you laugh. I still miss that so much to this day. I always had a policy of telling my friends when I saw them I love ya and giving a big hug to them. I am glad the last time I saw you, I was able to do that. I called Tony Rose out of the blue yesterday and he didn´t answer. So I took the oppurtinity to sing a line of Born to Run when the beep came. One of my favorite things was doing this to you so many times when your answering machine picked up. Making up songs to the tune of Pearl Jam about why you didn´t answer the phone.
Well I will leave a message in heaven tomorrow for you because I know a man like you that everyone loves...got your wings.

Love Isaac big guy.

Hey big guy,

20 years and I still think about you every day. Our biggest connection was always laughter and music. New songs come out all the time and I think Reed would have loved this. I often tell my wife, Reed turned me on to this song when it hits the playlist. When in reality it was probably Brody that introduced him to the songs. Well I still love Better Than Ezra, Bush, Soundgarden, Pearl Jam and the Toadies because of you. The songs don´t hurt when they come on now like they used to. They make me happy I had the experience to know you. Love you buddy, always will


IKE

Hey big guy,

They say when someone passes in your life you think about them every day. I didn't think that was true until I lost you. So many songs, jokes, and memories. At first a lot of the songs you introduced me to were very painful to listen to. Now I am glad every last one of them exist so I can always allow you to live in my memory. I hear so many new ones and think you would like them. I hope you can still hear them and do.

I miss you my friend. You were the greatest person I have ever known.

Until we meet again....soybeans, cleaver and taco hombre.....lol

Still miss you big guy and think about you every day.

Reed,
I have thought about you almost everyday. I think about what you are doing or if you know how much of a print you left on everyone's heart. I have made a lot of changes in my life and I think that you would have been proud. The memories I have of the times we were together are always good. I know now that we were suppose to meet in my life. The part I don't know is why? I know that we were not suppose to stay together but I wonder why didn't you get a chance to have your family and make it to 50 to think of all those memories that you talked about. I just today had the courage to listen to the song your Dad talked about at the Celabration of Life "Wish list" by Pearl Jam. The thing is that you in the strangest way were all of those things. To be honest, I don't know why I am writing on the site. I know that you are with everyone that remembers you everyday. I guess I needed to get this out. I don't talk about because I don't want people to think I am crazy. But I know that when we spent our time together, it just wasn't meant to be at that time. I still have our picture and I don't think that I will ever get rid of it. I will always want to remember what the meaning of a wonderful man is and that is you. MaKayla just turned 9 and I can not even believe how smart she is. She remembers you and the camping trip. She remembers your backyard with the horse in the field. She was small during that time, I would never have guessed that she would think of that. Sometimes, when I get stuck in a problem that I need some advice I ask you. The funny thing about that is when I do that a Bob Segar song comes on. I know how much you couldn't stand those songs and hated it even more that it had a special meaning to me and you. But that is how I know you are right there. Thank you for that. I also would like to say that I am sorry for always wanting more. I never could take it one day at a time and look at the picture in front of me. You taught me to take it one day at a time. I still have to work at it everyday. I miss talking to you and hanging out with you. I will write later. Thank you for blessing me with being in my life for the short time that you were.

Hi u
You've been on my mind like always. Got married a few weeks ago, life is different these days...not as fun as it used to be when we were small but it's good. Your light still shines in a lot of us Reed and it will always be there for us when we need it. You were such an awesome person...still are.
HUGS REED!
Cal

HEY REED,
JUST BEEN THINKIN ABOUT YOU ALOT LATELY. SUMMERTIME ALAYS REMINDS ME OF YOU. ESPECIALLY WHEN I SEE PEOPLE RIDING DOWN THE STREET ON GOCARTS OR DIRT BIKES. I SURE MISS YA...JUST THOUGHT I'D POP IN AND SAY HI, TELL YA YOU ARE STILL THOUGHT ABOUT ALOT!!

Big Guy,

I am so sad today. I can hardly stop crying. So much has happened since I wrote around Christmas. I did a Christmas newsletter and it tore me up. I didn't get it finished until after New Years because Christmas tore us up. I can't imagine ever doing Christmas again without you. Plus, it was extra hard on Dad because it is his first Christmas without her and I know it was hard for Tyler and Brody, too.

We opened our Contract Postal Unit and everyday when I come in, I think about you not getting to see it and how much you would have loved hanging around with Brody at his Sports Corner and Tyler's Toyforce Contract Postal Unit.

We try to go on with our lives, but in the back of our minds, we miss you not being here to see what we've been doing. All I want to do today is go home and let the grief flow because it is neverending and if I don't allow myself days like that, it builds up and tears me apart.

I miss you so much and when Tyler told us that he was engaged while we were at your old house (now Brody's), I was so happy for him, but so sad because you would have loved giving him a hard time about finally settling down.

Your neverending humor is missed so much. Your smile is missed. Your presence is missed. You are missed.

I love you.
I miss you.
Forever in my heart.

Hey Reed,

It is almost Christmas. Today I am sitting here remembering. Memories are coming at me so fast that they’re zipping by and I am only catching a glimpse of everything. I have discovered this morning that life happens so fast and just as fast, it can take a turn that leaves the rest of us devastated.

I remember all you boys when you were little and how excited you’d all be. I remember making sugar cookies for Santa and leaving carrots for his reindeer. I remember smearing charcoal from the fireplace on your little foreheads when you finally went to sleep Christmas Eve and telling you that you had been kissed by Santa when he came down the chimney the night before to leave your gifts.

I remember all of us painting Christmas ornaments and then having them fired. They are the most sloppy, beautiful ornaments (that only children can make) I have ever seen and I treasure them now and always. All the ornaments that meant so much to you as a little boy and even when you grew up, are still packed away because we just can’t do Christmas again this year.

Dad and I decided to do Senior Secret Santa this year. It made me cry because they are so humble in their requests. Just stamps, notes, something to keep their hands and feet warm and to be remembered because they don’t have family close by. I think people have forgotten that the Holiday Season is about family, giving and caring.

I don’t know how we are ever going to be able to put the Christmas tree up again. Every time I think I can, I remember everything. I remember you boys helping me decorate the tree and it was always decorated on the bottom because none of you could reach higher. They were the most beautiful trees ever. I guess it is lucky that Tyler is so busy with his new Postal Unit and Brody is so busy at his Sports Corner that we don’t have the time to think.

I miss you so much and no matter how busy I try to be, I can’t (and won’t) stop thinking about my memories of you boys and Christmases from the day each of you were born. I’m so sad, but I’m trying to help other people make their Christmases full of Joy, Peace and Happiness.

Oh my God, Reed. The pain in my heart is so awful; I don’t think it can beat anymore without breaking over and over. I have to be strong for Dad and Tyler and Brody and I’m trying so hard.

I love you.
I miss you.

Hi Big Guy,

Today is Thanksgiving. I woke up and knew I had to be outside when the sun came up. I wasn’t disappointed. It was the most beautiful sunrise and I stood outside having a conversation with you. I miss you so much and sunrises always make me ache with the emptiness of not having you here with me to share it. I will always remember how much you loved to watch the sunrises at your house. I grieve for you every day since you’ve been gone. I thought it would get easier, but when I see the beauty I saw this morning, I know that every day for the rest of my life you will be the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last thing I think about when I go to bed.

We won’t have Gayla, Shawn and Jason with us today. This will be the first Thanksgiving in a long, long time without our Goose. Gayla is with her boys, Cicely & Mia, Jason’s little family and Fred today. They’re all together as we will be here at the house with Tyler, Brody, Kira, Lexi, Judy and Bev. We’ll toast you like we did last year.

Forever in my heart.
I love you forever.
I miss you so much the pain hurts my heart.

Good Morning You
Thinking about you yesterday on my way back from Farmington visit. It was so nice and quiet and i was driving too fast like always and you just popped in my head. Then I just sat and thought about all the fun things we used to do for a good hour or so on my way home. It's funny how you're with me now so much. Like when i was in Jamaica a few weeks ago. I felt you there when i was staring at the water. I know you hear me talk to you often but i just thought i'd tell you thanks for listening! I am going boarding in a few weeks and will once again wear the shirt your mom gave me of yours under my jacket so you can have fun too. Should be a good year of snow, break a leg huh.
Hugs and miss u
Cal

Hey Big Guy,

So much has happened since I wrote to you last. I have been to San Diego on vacation with Gayla, Donna, Sondra and Michelle. We had a wonderful time. It was so bitter sweet for me. I remember you, Tyler, Brody, Dad and me talking about taking a trip out there so he could show you the Midway—his aircraft carrier he served on in the Navy 35 years ago. It’s now a docked museum and he wanted to share his memories with you boys. We also wanted to show you where we lived at Pacific Beach when we first married. So many places you didn’t get to see with us. When Gayla and I found the apartment building where Dad and I lived, we got out and took pictures. A beautiful, bright yellow butterfly the size of my hand fluttered around me and the place. I looked at everything like I was looking through your eyes, so you could be with me in spirit.

Dad and I went to Grandma Ohlbrecht’s house a couple of weekends ago. Since she has passed away, it was hard on Dad. We sat and talked about all his aunts and uncles and cousins that came to that house. He remembered all of them who have passed away. I looked at the house differently. I looked at it as a place where you boys loved to go because it was your Grandma’s. I saw my three sons through the years and watched them grow from newborn babies to the men they are now. I remembered how you loved going over there because it was such a small town. I also remember the last time you were there. It was also the last time you saw Grandma. I know you’re taking care of her.

Dad found a 12” crescent wrench on the fifth floor of the plant where he had gone to be alone. It had “Reed Mechanics” imprinted on the handle. He sat and cried from the pain of missing you and Grandma. He keeps that wrench in his tool box so he can see it everyday. He doesn’t know where it came from and had never heard or seen the manufacturer before. I told him to just say thanks and keep it dear to his heart. Through the tears he told me that he was looking for a hammer and it was just like you to convince him he needed a wrench instead! We laughed and cried together.

I dreamed about you. I woke up and knew you were sitting on the couch. When I walked out there, it was Tyler sitting there and as I got closer, he turned into you. And you held me and supported me when my legs collapsed and I started sobbing harder than I have ever cried before. You comforted me. You were just as real as you were in life. When I woke up, I knew that a person can actually feel their heart can break because mine did.

I miss you so much. Dad misses you so much. Brody misses you so much. Tyler misses you so much. We all do. The holidays are coming and I can’t even think about them without feeling so sad, so we just might skip them again this year.

I haven't been able to work on your site that Shawn set up lately because it tears my heart out. But, I will get back to it soon.

I love you dearly.
I love you always.
I love you forever.

Hello Reeder,

As you know, Grandma Ohlbrecht passed away September 9. Her heart just quit and it was peaceful. Dad and I were in Nebraska all last week, taking care of the arrangements and closing up the house. I was so sad because Tyler and Brody lost the best Grandma anyone could have had. She was so good to all of you and as I stood with them at the graveside services, I kept remembering all of you boys as little boys and how much you three meant to her. So, now Tyler and Reed have lost their brother and best friend and also their grandma. Dad has lost his son and mother. I don’t think I can take any more loses.



Gayla came over and spent three days with us. She is our rock. She helped so much. Tim and Liz got to come and so did Aunt Doris and Connie. Doris is the last of the Thompson brothers and sisters and she is very sad, too.



I’m glad you were there to welcome her home. I just wish you could have been here with Tyler and Brody to tell her goodbye. Last week was so emotional for me because I kept thinking about you and all the times you were there with your brothers. I found so many pictures and sat and cried over them all. Now she’s with Grandpa Ohlbrecht, her sisters and brothers, Randy and especially you. Take good care of her and show her around. She’s not in pain anymore and she was ready to go home. She had surrounded herself with pictures of loved ones who have gone before.



I love you so much and miss you. Dad is going to have a very hard time, so drop in on him to let him know you are taking care of Grandma.



I hope everyone goes to reedohlbrecht.com to see more pictures. I still have so much more work to do on the site--pictures to post and captions to put under all the pictures. You are with me every day, just like you are for Callie.



I love you dearly

I love you always

You are forever in my heart

HI buddy

Just been watching all the nice words and letters and pictures and thinking about you and life all the time. The pink balloon your mom sent made me cry. I hope you're hearing me every morning when i play blink 182 I MISS U in the car on the way to the gym at 5am! just trying to keep up with you like always. I know I missed a bunch of years in between but you'll always be with me. Always. I thought of you this year when you turned 30 and i turned 31, how funny that time flies so fast! Happy birthday to us, the 30's will be fine, you keep watching over me and i'll keep saying good morning. Miss you!



Oh, and i keep your business card on my desk, i like it there, i see your name every day! right beside a great Jeep that we both would have loved to go playing in! HUGS!



Cal

Hey Big Guy,



It has been quiet a while since I’ve written. I’ve been thinking so much about your life and how you touched so many people. I have also said out loud “life is a journey and Reed is waiting for me at the end”. When I was able to say that after missing you so much and having panic attacks from you being gone, it calmed my soul and heart. I told Dad just the other day that you would be waiting for him, too. He told me he hoped so. I told him you would be there without a doubt, and the first words out of your mouth would be “Dude! What took you so long! I’ve got so much to show you.”



I was also thinking about you, Tyler and Brody being my gifts from God. I have always believed from the day you guys were born that you never belonged to me, but were on loan from God—a treasure He loves and trusted me to raise. He put the three of you in good hands, because I know no one could have loved you, Tyler and Brody more than Dad and I do.



Gayla and I rode the Cog with Potsy last week. It was her last train up the mountain and it was fun to watch her drive the cog. I got to get off near the top and switch the tracks. So many butterflies! I know if you had ever got to do that you would have known all about the Cog and how it works and probably drive it back to Manitou if Potsy would have let you. She got to flash Tyler, Brody and Jason from the top on her first run. She took a full length mirror out of the bathroom at the summit house, stood in the doorway of the train to let the sun catch the reflection. They could see it down at their stores and said it was bright! Potsy has left for training on the east coast. She’s moving to Hawaii to work on a cruise line and most likely will take tourists on day trips to the islands. Morgan is over there, working on her Masters at the University of Hawaii, so they’ll have fun surfing.



Char cut my hair last night. It was nice to see her. We talked about you and Jen and how much Dad and I love Jen. Char loves you, always did. When she finished, I called Jen before I went home and told her Char had ruined my hair. Just about gave her a heart attack, but Char and I had a good laugh together!



We’re off to the cabin this weekend. Brody was up there last weekend and Dad and I ran the store for him. We did just fine and Brody needed a break. Tyler’s Post Office and store is doing well. We’re proud, Reed, of all of you.



I miss you so much. I thought that big, huge hole you left would get smaller. Little did I realize that it never would and never will. I know you’ll be waiting for me, so I can make it through this lifetime and even laugh now.



I love you dearly.

I love you always.

I love you forever.

Dear Reed,



I just found out yesterday from Potsy that Joey and Felicia have sponsored your site for a lifetime. I am so touched and overwhelmed by their thoughtfulness. I have so much to catch up on. Lots of things going on at the cabin, but will tell you in another posting. I got to see Jennifer and meet her two little boys. She gave me a set of earrings that you had given her because she knew I would love them because you bought them. I wore them for two days and felt that they needed to go back to Jen because you bought them for her. I love them and thought you had really good taste, but Jen is the owner, I am the admirer!



Dad got Tyler’s Toyforce Postal Unit built and he is open for business. Thing are hopping for him and I think he’s happy. Looks like Leni and Tyler are maybe going to get married someday. I’m happy for Tyler because they’re happy. Football season finally started and Brody is happy. We’re doing okay, but missing you so much hits us sometimes out of the blue and we have to catch our breath, cry and try to go on with life. Life is a journey and I know at the end of my journey, you will be waiting for me. That’s the only thing that keeps me going—knowing we will all see you again someday.



Potsy and Gayla took a road trip to Farmington to see Grandma P. They stopped at the cabin on the way home. I didn’t know they were going to do that, but Potsy has never seen it. They surprised me with pictures of them up there. Potsy is heading to Hawaii next month to work on Norwegian Cruise Lines. What a life, huh? I’m going to miss her. I’m going to take the day off and ride the Cog on her last trip up to the Peak. The last time I was on the cog with her, I got altitude sickness and threw up in the cog. But, she’s a pro—being an engineer, and takes it all in stride. I’ll just make sure I have barf bags with me. Maybe Gayla can come too. Mia is one-year old. I can’t believe that Shawn and Cicely have been parents for a year now. Gayla calls her Meechie-Peachy and is the love of her life.



I miss you so much and have missed writing to you. Shawn and I almost have your reedohlbrecht.com site ready to go live. There are going to be so many pictures on there and little stories with each picture. Sometimes it gets to me, looking at your life and reliving every picture. I can remember taking each and every one of them. Thanks for the bright shiny 2006 penny that Nancy’s daughter found when she came to the cabin a couple of weeks ago.



I love you dearly.

I love you always.

I miss you.

Hello Reed...

I wanted to let everyone know that the other day, we sponsored the website for life. I couldn't bear the thought of not bieng able to come here and have Reed moments and see how everyone was doing since the past year. The way I look at it is this was just a small token to have a place to always come back to and talk to everyone.Since how Shawn is starting a site we will have 2 places to come and share our stories of how you have touched our lives and how you continue to touch us. That is wonderful. Elaine and Rick... we love you all so much and I see this as a small price to give something like this to your family, it was nothing. I am so glad we could do this for you, it has helped us out too more than you know bieng able to come here and read your awesome stories and see what a wonderful family you all have. Thanks for all of the memories and stories and please come and post more...I know I will.. Love ya,... Felicia and Joey

Hello all,



This will be the last day you will be able to visit this site for Reed. Shawn, Reed's cousin, has started setting up a site for all of us to continue to read about Reed's legacy and how he touch all of us. Shawn is doing this so none of us will ever forget Reed (like we could) and we can continue to share stories and memories.



The address of the site will be www.reedohlbrecht.com. It might take us a couple of days to get it up and running.



Thank you, everyone, for all the support this past year. Rick, Tyler, Brody and I appreciate your kindness and loyality, And, again, special thanks to Joey and Felicia.



If you have questions, please send me a note at [email protected].



Also, thank you, Gazette, for carrying this amazing site through the newspaper. Truly appreciated.

My Sweet Baby (that's you Reed!)



This will be the last time I post here for you. I don’t think Joey and Felicia realize how they helped me through the grief and pain of losing you. When I go back to the beginning of my posts, I can see how far I have come. When I first started posting, I couldn’t get through a post without crying and feeling like my world had ended and nothing was going make me feel any better. But, through coming here and writing to you, it was like talking to you. I gradually began to feel you beside me as I shared my grief with everyone who comes here. I have come so far in the past year. Dad and I will always have our “Reed moments”, but they have changed. We talk about you and remember all the things you did for us and how you made us so happy! Happy for the memories of your antics with your brothers and friends. Happy that you loved life and them so much. Happy that you loved Dad and me so much and were so proud to be our son.



So, thank you Joey and Felicia, for helping me deal with the grief and sadness of losing Reed. You will never know how much this has meant to me. Thank every one of you who have been faithful readers because it has helped you, too. Thank you, Shawn, for putting together another site so I can continue to talk to Reed and remember his legacy. I will let everyone know when that site is up and running. So, everyone, e-mail me at the address below and as soon as the site is available, I will send out the link.



I love all of you who come here and thank you for keeping in contact and especially for remembering our Reed. He belongs to all of us.



Until I see you again,

I love you dearly

I love you always

I love you forever

You are forever in my heart

Heya Reed....

How's it? It has been a while since I was here last, we are having the most boring 4th of July ever...it is raining and no fireworks allowed this year. Oh well we will drink a beer and toast to you....MISS YA LOTS!!!

Hey Reeder,



I had a wonderful conversation with Jennifer last Saturday when she called from AZ. I knew her voice immediately. We talked for a long time and it was great to hear from her. Too many times people think that if they talk to me about you, it will upset me. I wish I could tell everyone that it upsets me when they DON'T talk to me about you. I figure that you lived such a full life and left your mark (as Don says) on so many people that you need to be talked about. Your special memories you left for all of us need to be out there so we never forget you (like any of us ever would).



Jen shared some great moments with me. One of my favorites is when she told me how much you loved me and Dad. I always knew it, but it is very special that you let everyone know how much!



Last night Angela and I had dinner with Potsy. Potsy was impressed with the bird and Angela and I were impressed with the huge yellow butterfly. Show-off! When I got home I ask Dad if he wanted to hear what happened. He just laughed and ask "What did Reed do now?" and he was impressed by the bird, too. You never could do anything slow.



Dad and Tyler are busy building the post office inside Toyforce. Brody is going to the cabin this Friday and it sounds like there will be quiet a few up there. I told them they needed to ring the bell when they got there and say hello.



I'm so very lucky that you left me so many people that were in your lives. I treasure Angela and Jennifer and always will. I love you girls! All your friends will always mean so much to me because they meant so much to you.



Forever in my heart. I love you.

Hey Reed,

Talked to your Mom yesterday and you are truely missed and loved by so many people. One year, two birthdays, and two fathers days later and the impact of your loss is still so great and painful. I told your Mom how you would brag about having the coolest Mom. She was very happy to hear that not like she didn't know she was the coolest ever! haha. Well, I especially wanted to log on today and tell Rick Happy Fathers Day! Rick, you are an awesome Father and friend to your boys! Reed really loved and appreciated having such loving and devoted parents. Your family is very tight knit and well put together. Reed always spoke highly of you Rick and loved you so much!

HAPPY FATHERS DAY RICK! and Reed you are loved and missed so dearly by myself and soooo many others.

Hey Big Guy!



Yesterday I spent the afternoon with Brody at the store. We aired up 30 balloons and Brody slipped one pink one in there. When I saw that, I told Brody you would find a way to kick his behind! Pink?! For goodness sake. So, I wrote on the pink one and sent a message when Dad, Tyler, Brody and I released them to let you know we remembered your 30th birthday. The pink one was the last one to be let go and it was bigger than the rest! It was an awesome and powerful sight. As the four of us were standing there, watching them drift upwards, Brody said if you were there, you would have popped them and Tyler suggested you would be inhaling the helium and talking funny. We ate Fargo's pizza after that. When I get the pictures off Brody's camera, I will post them for everyone to see.



You are always going to be part of the family and will be included in everything we do, no matter that you're not here in person--but you're here in spirit.



Brody and I spent a great afternoon together and talked about the three of you as little babies, little boys and grown men. Remember how we used to talk like that? I told Brody about the letter you wrote me for my 50th birthday where you told me when you were quiet, you were collecting memories. Well, we collected memories yesterday. My tattoo is next!



You are loved. You are missed. You are treasured.

He Reeder!



Today is your 30th birthday. I am stoppying by Fargo's and pick up a couple of giant Mainliner pizza (one of your favorites), 30 balloons and then meet Dad at the stores. We'll have pizza and release the balloons for you. Watch for them, okay?



This is so hard, celebrating your birthday without you being with us, but I know you know we'll all be together. As the rest of us get older with each birthday, you will be forever young. Smile down on us as we release the balloons and know that you are loved.



Dad is helping Tyler to get ready to open the Post Office in Toyforce's store in August. The electrician is coming today to rewire outlets and Dad and Tyler will be building the walls when he is finished. Brody is just two doors down with his Sports Corner. We decided to meet there because you're with them and I know you're as proud of them as we are for what they've done in the past year.



Love you, Baby. You are always in my heart.

Dear Reed,

Well, we survived the Girl's Weekend. Sondra and Rhonda came up from Farmington, Gayla, Nancy and Margie rounded out the group. It was nice because we were so excited to have a flushing toilet (I know! You're saying "it's about time") and were able to cook on the stove upstairs in the kitchen.



We ate, laughed, ate, hiked, ate, stayed up late, ate, rang the bell for you, ate and then ate some more. We took lots of pictures. Found a penny and put it with all the other ones I keep finding up there. Said hello to a big orange butterfly and told Reed stories and laughed at your antics. I didn't realize there were so many "Reed Stories" with you at the cabin and Gayla and I loved telling them. Thanks you for so many wonderful memories that made all of us smile. Also, thanks for dropping by and staying in the picture of the beautiful full moon. When we saw that, we all said hello. You are always where we are. We were so wrapped in beautiful memories.



Gayla and Sondra kept us all entertained and I know you were laughing at them--probably harder than we were. You always loved someone who knows how to laugh at themselves and each other.



Everyone rang the bell when they left to let you know they were leaving. I did okay all weekend until we rang the bell and then I finally had a good cry, wrapped in the arms of loved ones who mean the world to me. One of the things I told them was that when you were quiet, you told me you were gathering memories. Well, we gathered memories and we all thank you for reminding us that we should all take time to savour what life has given us so we can go back when we need a smile, and relive every precious memory we had made.



I love you.

I miss you.

Thanks you for making the cabin so special.

Forever in my heart.

Hello up there!



I love that you stopped by to see Joey and Felicia. A big red cricket. Only you would have done something like that! And, that is a cool t-shirt that Desi is getting for Brody. It would have been a perfect sign for your garage.



I'm heading up to the cabin today. It's my girl's weekend, so you should be really busy riding with Dad (he's up there right now and coming home when I get there), Gayla and all the other girls. Flex those wings and don't you dare fly faster than any of us can (or should) drive! I have balloons that we'll all release up there for your early 30th birthday. Watch for a bunch of lime green balloons with messages to come floating up.



There will be a lot of bell ringing for you, so listen and it would be nice if you stopped by to say hello. We'll feel you because you are part of the cabin and your mark is all over it.



I love you and miss you.

Mom

Hey up there....



Thanks for giving us a sign the other night...the 4th that is. You have really been on my mind alot latley. I cannot believe it has been a year already. The pain is still very real from your loss. You had been on my mind all day Sunday and then on Monday when I went outside , all day you popped in my mind. Then later that night Joey and I went downstairs to have one last cigarette before going to bed and there going across the floor was the BIGGEST CRICKET I have seen in years!!!! And here"s another thing it was RED!! Thanks for the pop in to say hello....we both knew crickets were a sign of good luck, but to see a red one and to have those giant long legs, had to be from REED. So we sat down a cup and he crawled right in and we took him to the back porch to enjoy the outdoors. LOve you Reed and MISS you more than you will ever know.

Felicia and Joey

Hey There Babe!

I just read Shawn's message to you. I laughed because I remembered when I first moved out to Colorado one of the first things you asked me was "Do you wanna play butt ball?" I was like - "What?" I hadn't even thought of playing that game probably since Wylie and I had taught you guys when we played in Long Beach that one year when you all were visiting and then again, when your parents first moved to the house in Security. Gosh, that was funny. I think Wylie and I made up rules along the way, cause you all could not help, but lose. :)

I remember you riding that little bike around the neighborhood and there hardly being any other houses around. I thought it fitting that you later gave me a ride on your much bigger bike around that same block.

I miss you bunches, and smile at your picture that is taped to my computer everyday.

I found the perfect house warming gift for Brody. He'll get it as soon as I get it in the mail - you'd approve I know, it is a t-shirt that says "What happens in the Garage Stays in the Garage" I laughed so hard when I saw it and thought of you. Brody if you’re reading this act surprised. :) Jaden and I had an interesting night last night - we ended up in the ER because he was listening to the ocean in a teeny tiny shell that fell into his ear and got stuck. Needless to say an overnight stay in the hospital, two doctors, a specialist, an anesthesiologist and a broken ear drum later we got to go home. What was funny is that he had dreams of the ocean while under sedation. My mom said "That's boys for you" and I think she is right, I thought of you and your Smokey the bear routine and thought yep, that is boys for you. Anything can happen. :) Thanks for the smiles in a world of madness. You know I love you babe. Take Care of yourself; I'll see you when I see you – and I'll miss you always.

Dez.

Hey up there!



Yesterday was a year since you left us. The day started with a package on the front step. Inside a bubble package was a beautiful plaque with the “Broken Chain” saying. I have no idea who left it there, but it means the world to us. Tyler and Brody came down and we had a turkey dinner. Then, I told everyone we were going to the nursery and buy a tree to plant for you. The four of us picked out a Weeping Willow tree because you liked them so much. We went to Brody’s and planted the tree and took a picture. So many people e-mailed and called to let us know we were in their thoughts.



It is hard Sweetheart, but to us it was just another day without you. It was no worse than the day before or the day after or how it will be for the rest of our lives. We had some happy moments, too. Brody is having a guy’s weekend at the cabin in a couple of weeks. There's even a flushing toilet now!!! Dad and I knew you were saying "it's about time!" when I pulled the lever for the first time. I know everyone will toast you and tell crazy stories. Hope there will be lots of smiles, laughs and I know tears will be shed. I would love to be there just to hear stories that you didn’t plan on telling me until I was too old to kick your rear-end!



I’ll tell you more about the past weekend at the cabin in another post. There were a few time I had to almost kick your Dad’s backside for you because I know you would have if you had been there. I saw a little butterfly and said hello.



I’m just glad the one-year is over. We were all dreading it. But, in my mind it is the anniversary of your leaving us and the beginning of remembering all the happy times you left us. I hope everyone will look to the past—not for that horrible day—but to the wonderful memories that are you and your gift to us all.



I love you. I miss you. You are forever in my heart

Reed,



Today is a hard day for everyone who knew you. A year has gone by and it hasn’t gotten much easier. There is not a day that goes by that I don’t think of you or the things you did. I always think when I do something stupid that you are right there laughing at me like you always used to. I think about all the good times we had growing up like playing hot lava on the couches downstairs or waiting our turn to play BurgerTime in the basement when you guys had the arcade style games. I think of how you were always better at everything than most of us and if you weren’t, you were always first to try it. There are so many things that I will never forget about you but your laugh is what comes to me most when I think of you. No matter how much time passes, I will never forget you or you laugh.

Dear Reed,



This morning just as I was waking up, you came to me. I saw it so clearly and it will always be imprinted on my brain. Everyone was at the cabin (Dad, Tyler, Brody, Gayla, Shawn, Jason, Isaac, Neil, Kathy, Gaston, Don, Joey, Felicia, Don, Angela, Bonnie, Jennifer, Shane, Paul--everyone you ever knew and the people who had been to the cabin with you. You were watching everyone work (go figure!). I don't know if anyone was even aware that you were there. You were in your riding clothes and laughing (I heard it) and smiling at everyone. I was standing off to the side watching you and when you saw me, you came to me, took me in your arms and danced with me with your chin resting on the top of my head. You told me you were happy and everything would be okay. You told me to take care of Dad. You faded as we were dancing and I came fully awake. I called Gayla this morning to tell her about it and we had a good laugh about you dancing with both of us (you danced with Gayla Easter Day). I just wanted to tell you thank you for stopping by to be with me. This week is hard on everyone because June 4th is just a couple of days away. I am especially thinking of Gaston.



Dad and I are going to the cabin tonight. I know it will be hard to be up there, but it is hard to be anywhere and I want to be at the place you loved. We will be home to be with Tyler and Brody on Sunday. I think I’ll take you for a ride. How would you like to go to the cabin? Dad hears you in his head all the time when he gets so frustrated working up there. You are either laughing at him or telling him to get it done! Keep coming to him. I’ll ring the bell for everyone.



I love you.

I miss you so much.

Forever in my heart.

Dear Reed,



This weekend is going to be hard for Dad. He's going to NE for Memorial Day, like he does every year. It will one year ago that he saw you last and I know this is weighing heavily on his mind. We were at Grandma's last year and you stopped by on your way home from your camping trip with your friends at the lake.



Grandma made a big deal and cooked you breakfast before we went to the cemetery. It rained and they canceled the services, so you and I went to Cabela's to get you your birthday present. You wanted that tent for your Dodge and got to pick it out. You were so excited because when you got it, you wanted to grab Gaston and take off in the Dodges.



Then, you headed home, pulling a boat behind you. It was raining and I'll always remember you driving down the street, turning around and driving by Grandma's house so she could wave good-bye to you.



I will forever be sad that I didn't ride back to the Springs with you that day. Dad will forever be sad because that's the last time he saw you.



Ride with Dad as he heads to NE to take Grandma to the cemeteries to remember Grandpa and Randy.



I love you Baby and I'm missing you so much. Forever in my heart.

Hi Big Guy,

I haven’t been able to write for a while because getting through Mother’s Day was the worst this year. Dad and I were at the cabin last weekend and all I could do was cry from the emptiness of knowing my three sons wouldn’t be together for the first time on Mother’s Day. Tyler was the one who always remembered to get a card and they are always very special. Brody sometimes remembered a card, but his hugs made up for that and I’d take a hug any day! Then, there was you! Half the time you’d forget and Dad would have to remind you. I still have every card you, Tyler and Brody gave me and will never throw them away. In fact, I still have everything you guys made in school to bring home to me. The only thing that ever mattered to me was that you’d stop by (in that “hurry up I’ve got things to do” way of yours) and give me a hug and mumble “I love you” and you’d be off to ride or 4-wheel. Precious memories. Tyler and Brody came down when we got home and we sat at the table and I talked to them.



I told them I have Dad to talk to. Gayla, Potsy, Angela, Bonnie and so many friends are there for me, also. I told them I worry that they don’t have anyone to talk to about missing you and memories you left for them. That’s what was so hard about Mother’s Day—trying to balance not having you this year and not wanting any fuss made, but at the same time knowing I need to be there for Tyler and Brody because I’m still their mother.



Bonnie came down a couple of weeks ago. She has two little boys now. Bless her heart. I know she wanted to comfort me and she felt so bad because she hasn’t been able to come see me until now. We cried, laughed and held on to each other. We go back so far and I have always loved Bonnie. I now know about the James Dean necktie and the yellow Bug cookie jar. We laughed together when I showed her the beer stein full of Emergency Room name tags that you kept.



Get your wings flexed. We’re heading to the cabin again this weekend. We’re going to try to get the railing up around the deck. I’m having my Girl’s Weekend the middle of June and we don’t want any of us old folks to fall off.



I love you. I miss you.

Forever in my heart

Hey Reeder,



I’m pretty certain that you have no concept of time where you are now, but today is the 4th of the month and it is so hard for so many people. I can’t imagine what next month will be like for all of us.



I have been thinking and remembering so much this morning. I’ve been thinking about how kind and caring you were with the people in your life. When you called me to ask what I thought you should/could do in a situation, we’d talk and I hope you would feel better. A perfect example of your caring was when Heather’s mom was sick and you called me every day to talk and keep me informed. You would ask what you could do for Heather and I told you to just be there for her, you didn’t have to say anything because just your presence at a time like that would be comforting. When her mother passed, it was very important for you that Dad and I be at the services. You must have been waiting for me because you came up as soon as I walked in and just hugged me so tight and wouldn’t let me go. Then through the services, we held hands and it was like you didn’t want to let me go. I really believe that was the first time you realized that moms don’t last forever. Telling you that I love you was nothing new for me, but telling you “I love you, Reed” was special that night because you really needed that reassurance that I wasn’t going anywhere soon. You didn’t even do that “mumble” when you told me you love me, too!



I’m meeting Angela and Lauren at McDonald’s tonight after work. Lauren loved the flowers for her birthday. Thanks. She also made a goal (for the other team) at soccer the other day. I know you were laughing—not because she ran the wrong way, but because of her being so happy playing. It’s the parents that care too much about the goal for the other team. I still remember you running up and down the field—not to win, but to be having so much fun. I think you laughed the entire game and could care less who won. I know that became how you lived your life, too. Having fun doing what you loved to do with friends, with no finish line to cross first, was important to you because you were with people you loved.



Bonnie is coming down Saturday. This is going to be hard. I love Bonnie so much. I know you will be with us and we will share laughs and tears. She has two little boys now and I know she loves them with all her heart—just like I do my boys.



Dad and I went to the storage unit last night to get your KTM. I found a box of pictures you took in OK when you went with Joey, Felicia and Jennifer. Sure enough, it was a '55 Chevy! I need to show them to Felicia, especially the one of Joey sprawled on the trunk of that car! What a ham!



Love you Baby,

Forever in my heart

Dear Reed,



Just a bunch of little things happened last week and this past weekend. I heard from Gaston and he had what we call “Reed moments” and he was so sad because he misses you at work and riding with you. Brody and I had “Reed moments” at the store on Saturday. I got a sweet card from Bonnie and she is living here again. I’m going to call her tonight when I get home and see if we can get together. Dad and I went to Brody’s Sunday afternoon. He was in the garage working on his Lincoln and in the shadow looked just like you standing there. That took our breath away.



We took a trumpet vine down to the house for Brody to plant along the fence. I hope it grows. I have come to think of it as your flower because of Alice’s picture on your site and the gift card with the same picture on it that says “In Loving Memory of Reed”. All the trees are budding and the neglect last summer didn’t kill any of them. I trimmed the rose bushes and they’re all coming back. Brody doesn’t like roses, but promised to keep them alive for me because Jennifer planted them when she was there and there is one that is special to Angela. The lawn is coming back and the house is looking lived in again. The one thing that makes me really sad is that no one has stopped to see Brody since he moved in. Maybe it is too early and too hard for everyone and I wish they would realize that it would actually make it easier to talk about you. We all need to laugh at your antics and share every little story about you. Like Felicia does . . .



I love Felicia’s story about all of you being in Oklahoma and you and Joey going fishing. I remember (from that same trip) you coming back so excited because of the old car (I think it was a ’55 Chevy) that was in a garage and you tinkered on it and it was running when you left. You wanted that car so bad, didn’t you? I can’t wait to hear more stories from Felicia! She might have to meet with me because some of them might not be fit for this site!



Forever in my heart. I love you. I miss you.

I have been ask by so many people to post the letter Brody read for me at Reed's Celebration of Life June 10, 2005. So, here it is . . .



My dear, sweet, awesome Reed,



Just so you will know, I’m wearing your favorite sweatshirt. And believe it or not, I didn’t have to wash it first. You wouldn’t have recognized me dressed up.



I should have know by how active you were when I was pregnant with you, that you would hit the ground running and never stop. You never stopped moving and no matter how much I tried to get comfortable, you would kick me and make sure I knew you were there. I never could find a comfortable way to sit or sleep. On the day you were born, I called dad and told him not to hurry because had just started labor. Even then, as we were screaming down I-25 through Denver rush hour traffic to get to the hospital, I was a little worried that you wouldn’t wait until we were there. They just barely had time to get me up to the room. Dad just barely had time to checked me in and grab his gown before you finally burst out! I wish you could have seen the look on his face when you were put into his arms. Dr. Bradley calmly told the nurse to “grab the baby—we’re loosing the dad!” From that day on, you never slept long and you never crawled. You went from sitting up straight to walking. You were crawling out of your crib and scaring me half to death when I couldn’t find you. You never slowed down.



As the years passed, you were the one who was fearless and would try anything. Taking you boys, Shawn and Jason, Callie and Tia, Kira, Lexi and Morgan, Jerry, camping was always an adventure because you were the one leading everyone off to explore. I’ll never forget the look on your face when you caught your first fish. I think every aspen tree at Lemon Dam has your initials carved on them.



When we bought the first Honda 50, you were the one who jumped on it and took off as fast as that little thing could go. I tried running beside you so I could catch you if you fell, but I couldn’t keep up. If you wrecked, you’d laugh and pick the bike up and hop right back on.



You couldn’t wait to get old enough to drive and buy your first car. You were bound and determined to have wheels, no matter what kind. You worked at the schools as a janitor and gave me every dime to hold for you. Then you worked at Stuart Anderson with John Grady and gave me money to hold for you. When you started caddying at the Broadmoor, dad would take you over on his way to work and I’d pick you up. The tips you pulled out of your pockets every day always amazed me because it would be more money than any kid your age would make in a week. Everyone asked for Reed to be their caddy.



Your brothers? How can anyone describe the bond that is between you? You are their best friend. Your spirit will be with them everyday for the rest of their lives. They won’t be able to go anywhere without running into someone who knew and loved you. You were always able to connect with people from little kids to old folks. Your personality was so open and honest



Dad and I never have to try to talk to you and your brothers. You talked to us. Going anywhere with the three of you is always such an experience. Whenever we take you guys out to eat, we always get the best service and I was always shopping for girlfriends for you. My heart swells with pride when I walk in the middle of you boys because everyone always looked at my “little” boys. I just wanted to say to them “yep! These are my sons and I’ve got stretch marks and baby fat to prove it.”



Dad said it best when he said you were everyone’s right hand man. All Lisa had to do was call you and you walked her through getting her car alarm turned off. Your other mother, Beverly, knew she could always call you with her Jeep questions. She made me laugh after the last time she called you and the first words out of her mouth were “I just talked to our son and do you know what he told me?” I had to ask her which son? She is my Huckleberry and I know you know what that means because you have so many Huckleberries. She has been so special and loves you, Tyler and Brody like she actually gave birth to you. When you gave me my Jeep compass at the cabin for Mother’s day, I was so excited I had to call her and tell her about it. And to prove just how much of a Huckleberry she is, the first thing she asked was if it read true north as I’m sliding down the driveway sideways in the Jeep. She will never let me forget that and I know you were amazed when you saw the pictures of the Jeep wedged in the driveway at the cabin and had to ask, “how the hell did you do that?” Well, the point wasn’t that I was stuck; the point was that Gayla, Lisa, Huck—well she just watched—and I got it out!



How do I tell you about your friends? No words can describe the amount of friends you have and how much they love you. I have held all your friends and listened to the grief that is unbearable for them as they sobbed onto my shoulders and tried to talk to me through their grief. Holding Gaston and listening to him talk about you broke my heart because I felt the pain he is going through.



I held Shawn and Jason and didn’t even have to hear their words because I knew you were more than a cousin to them and I could feel their hearts breaking. I held Shane and listened to his heartbeat and could feel and hear his pain as he told me you were more than a friend to him. I held Tony and could only listen to him because I have no words that could comfort him as he told me you were more than a brother to him. I held Brian Groff and listened to the anguish in his words as he told me you were more than a friend to him. I held John and could feel his heartache even though he couldn’t talk to me, yet. I held Rebecca and told her I knew you had made a pact with her because you had told me. When Don and I held each other, I could feel the loss we both feel. I held Brian D and he told me, “I love you Mom”. How very special is that? I held Preston and could feel his aching heart. I will be holding many more broken hearts and I’m comforted by the knowledge that you are so very, very special to your family and friends.



The hardest ones to hold are Paul and Matt. That was the best day ever when Kay and Chris moved in up the street. If anyone was meant to be best friends it was you, Paul, Matt, Brody and Tyler. I ask Paul what happened to the riding lawn mower; he told me you guys blew it up. Not on purpose, of course. You were pulling things or probably each other, and well—you know . . . . these things happen. I have an idea what you two did at their cabin, but I won’t ask. Kay and Chris have also lost a son. Sometimes Dad and I would think you belonged to them because you were at their house and cabin so much. Maybe they had more food over there!



Your friends know they are part of our family because we know all of them and they all know Tyler and Brody. We’re one gigantic circle and we will always be connected because our common thread is you and your ability to live life to the fullest. We’ve had so many of them up at the cabin doing anything they can to help. I keep hearing about your last get together up there with the group. Everyone is telling us about being up there and the water frozen so the toilet couldn’t flush and dinner was chili with beans. Well, you know the outcome of that! Everyone is still welcome up there because the cabin is such a part of you. Dad, Tyler, Brody and I will make sure the cabin is finished soon and we will have a big beer party up there and celebrate you and your life over and over again. We have no shortage of help because your wonderful friends plan on coming up to help because they will be able to feel you there.



Not only did you have friends your age, every one of my friends were your friends too. Judy always said “if I was only 15 year younger!” I can’t remember how many times I had to correct her and tell her that she needed to be at least 25 years younger if she wanted to get rid of Dale and be your girlfriend. You are so special to Connie, Donna, Rhonda, Cindy, Sondra, Lisa and your other mother Beverly. You might not have know them as well as I do, but I talk about my sons every chance I get and they all know how much you boys mean to me. You three are my life, my joy, my happiness and will always mean more to me than anyone ever could. I am so thankful that I got to stay home and raise you boys and didn’t work until Brody was in school.



Hanging out everyday with you guys was a joy. We never had a dull day, did we? Was it you that walked up to the dining room window holding a tarantula and just about gave me a heart attack? Remember the grass fire across the street from the house and you guys got it out with the water hose before the fire department was called? I still haven’t been told who started that one. Loading all you kids, cousins and friends up in our big crew cab and heading out to camp was so much fun. The bed would be full of bikes, tents, fishing poles and coolers, and when we got to Lemon Dam, you guys couldn’t get out of the truck fast enough to start your adventures.



Gayla has been my rock. She will wear a necklace just like mine. I will always carry you close to my heart and I will be able to feel you every second of the day until the day I see you again. I will miss the phone calls where you say, “Mommy! This is Reeeeeeed,” and I ask what you’re doing and you say “fixing things.” I won’t get to tell you 4-Lo stories. If you think Gayla and I were hell on wheels riding your go-cart, I could just see Mike Faricy riding it at the dealership in his suit with the tie flying, but I bet he wasn’t laughing as hard as Gayla and I were. By the way, I finally got new tires for the Jeep and dad hasn’t driven his truck and won’t until the transmission is fixed. See? He actually listened to you and me, didn’t he?



So much, Reed, so much. How can anyone put your life, laughter and love into a short letter? It would take books and books. Right now your life is a kaleidoscope, flashing through my mind and I see so many images of you. I know it will slow down one day and I will be able to remember every memory from start to finish.



I am so proud to be your mother. I love you and will miss you forever.

Dearest Reed...

I come here quite often to read how your mom and family are doing. I know it is getting closer and closer to the 4th of june...and I don't want to come to grips with that , just as I am sure alot of people don't. Your mom comes here alot to post her thoughts and memories of you...some of them make my heart break for her and the pain she feels from you bieng gone. But then there are other ones that make me laugh and a big smile comes to my face when I think of how lucky I was to be your friend.

You know it seems like no one comes here to tell Reed stories much anymore and that makes me sad. I hope that all of the people that knew you never forget you and what a legacy you left behind...

So here is a "Reed" story for all who want to read it...:)

Reed had gone to Oklahoma with Joey, me, and Jennifer and my sister Holly one summer when Joey's Dad was sick. We were trying to take a break from the hospital and let Bailey and Taylor get some fun in. So we went down to granma's house to let them play in the kiddy pool. As you know boys will be boys and Joey and Reed took off to get in some fishing time....by the time I got there to see in on the fun, Reed was talking about how much his legs where itching. Later that night Jen and I where making a run to the local store for benedryl because Reed was covered in CHIGGERS. Nasty little bugs, or so I hear, I wore shorts in that hot sun instead of pants so none of them stuck to me.

I'll come back in a couple more days to tell you another story about that trip thats even better...you'll all get a big laugh..

Love ya ....Flea

Hey Big Guy,



Last weekend I went to Palmer Lake for Mia’s naming ceremony. Dad had to work and he didn't get to go with me. Jon and JJ came up from Farmington and it was good to see Jon after so many years. We talked about you and what a force you were, even when you were young. Mia is almost walking by herself! During the ceremony a butterfly flew through the circle. Gayla and I said “hello Reed, thanks for dropping by” and we knew it was you because it is way too early for butterflies. Caterpillars aren’t even out yet. Jason was there, trying to figure out a way to get back at Brody for something he had done! Lexi rode her motorcycle up and all of Cicely’s family was there. Gayla and Jon compared midlife crises (her convertible bug and Jon’s Harley). A tree was planted for Mia with all us women telling the men how to dig the hole and plant the tree right. Shawn and Cicely are such fine parents and Mia will always be loved by everyone. Life goes on, but you are always in our hearts and on our minds.



Potsy suggested that next Easter we all get together and take turns riding the go-cart around the neighborhood. Since that was such a huge part of your Celebration Ceremony and Easter and the go-cart were mentioned by so many, I think that is an excellent idea. I’ll invite everyone to come down to Brody’s house and take a spin on the go-cart with you as the co-pilot.



Missing you so much and it gets worse the closer to June 4. Dad and I are already planning to be at the cabin that day. I hope Tyler and Brody can be there with us. No one else. Just the four of us.



We love you so much and miss you more and more as the days go by in a blur. Watch over us all because we stumble in our grief.



Love you, Baby.

REEEEEEED!



Dad and I almost finished the sheet rocking at the cabin last weekend. I think the glue got to Dad because he was a little goofy! We woke up with about five inches of snow and the wind howling Saturday morning. We talked all the way home Saturday evening about missing you and how much the cabin meant to you. We know that you would have kept it full of love and laughter and good times. I rang the bell when we got there. Dad always goes outside when I am ringing it before we leave. He still hasn’t rang it yet, but someday I know he will.



We had Easter dinner at the house. It was only sort of planned, but turned out nice. We were happy to have Shawn, Cicely, Mia (what a little doll), Fred, Gayla, Potsy and Lexi. Shawn reminded me that we needed to mark Mia on the wall where I kept track of all of you growing up. She didn't stand very still, but we all get the idea of where her little feet started and her little head came to! That wall means so much to all of us and we looked at all the marks and watched you guys grow through the years. We still need to get Cicely up there (without shoes!). She's not that much taller than Mia!



It was very emotional for Gayla because I know she was remembering last year at your house for Easter dinner and it was the last time she saw you. Lexi was also very emotional and sad because she was remembering all the things we did together when you kids were young—like camping, family get togethers and all the times you cousins were doing something as a large gang. Lots of hugging, crying and comforting. Then, Dad went with Tyler to help build display shelves at Tyler’s new store. Brody went home to sleep! Potsy gave me a foot massage and worked some kinks out. It’s nice to have a massage therapist in the family. You were missed.



Always be our co-pilot and waltz with Gayla. We love you so much and continue to learn lessons from your life and how you touched all of ours. You are where we are. Forever in our hearts.

Hey Big Guy - Today is an especially sad day for me. I was dreaming about some long ago things that I haven't yet cleared up or still had lingering questions about. There were so many people there and I spotted you across the way. You came over to me and we began to waltz. I apologized for not being so good and you told me it was perfect. I then told you I missed you so much and you smiled that smile and said "You do?" and then I cried. I woke up and I was sobbing.

Your hug, your laugh and your voice were so clear. I know you were here.

Today is Easter and it was last Easter when I saw last. I'm going down to your mom and dads' for dinner. I know when they see me they will know my heart is breaking all over again but they will just hug me and tell me it's okay.

Every day I see Mia she searchs you out and holds you in her tiny little hand. This past Friday I was holding her and goofing around and suddenly she stopped, dug into my collor and pulled out the chain. The heart was cought on the clasp at the back of my neck. She search for it and when I pulled it around she put it in her little hand. She became still for a few moment, just like she always does. It's our most intimate sharing moment each week.

Today I will cry much I'm sure. I love you and miss you. I think about you every single day.

Love you - Gayla

Hey Big Guy!



I know you were flying beside Gayla as she drove to Dallas and right back again, but keep your wings flexed for a little while longer. Dad and I need our co-pilot because we're heading to the cabin this evening. We plan on finishing the sheet rock so we can get to the inspection. I'll ring the bell for everyone as soon as we get there.



Forever in my heart. I love you. I miss you.

My dear son Reed,



Dad and I went to the cabin last weekend. I rang the bell for everyone. We had a really busy weekend. We finished the sheet rock in the downstairs bath and hung the doors downstairs. It was beautiful up there and we stood outside, looking at the cabin before we left. We got so emotional because the cabin was something you were so proud of and we wanted to see you there, standing beside us, talking about everything you did up there to help us. We couldn’t have done what we did without you, Brody, Tyler and all the friends who came to help.



We will always feel you up there and wish you were with us. We know your spirit is there and we will keep the cabin forever and be able to tell Reed stories to anyone who will listen. We just hope that your friends will know they are always welcome to sit around the fireplace, raise a beer for you and share their memories.



We miss you and wish you were here with us to share Tyler and Brody’s success. Brody is happy at the house. The go-cart is down there now and keeps your Road Runner company.



Love you forever. You are forever in my heart. To hold you one more time, see your beautiful smile and tell you I love you is my only wish.

Hey Big Guy!



I went see Shane and Jennifer yesterday. We visited for a long time and it was so bitter-sweet to talk with them again. Shane talked about how much he misses you and we talked about the impact you had on so many lives. Shane misses his best friend and I miss my son. We shed tears and held each other, but it felt good to talk about you. There are so many people who are sad that you’re gone, but don’t feel comfortable talking about you with me. I wish there was some way that I could let everyone know that I want to talk about you and your life. I want to hear funny stories. I want to hear how much you mean to everyone. I want to hear special memories. And, if there are pictures out there that I haven’t seen, I want to scan them so I can see the part of your life that I didn’t get to see when you were with your friends.



Saturday was a very hard day for Dad and me. I think it was because we went to look at new trucks and both of us thought “let’s ask Reed what he thinks about this or that truck” and we can’t because you’re not with us anymore. It could have been that we drove by Faricy’s and stopping by to see what you were doing seemed like a natural thing to do, but we couldn’t. We talked so much about you, Tyler and Brody and how fragile thread holds a family together. The three of you are so different, yet so much alike and Dad and I are so blessed that you three belong to us. Three unique personalities and we love each of you uniquely.



I love you dearly. I miss you so much that I wonder how I make it through each agonizing day. Then I think about how the past ten months of our lives have just disappeared because we only function day to day.



I love you.

Dear Reed,



We went to the cabin yesterday. It was just a day trip to clear the driveway because we’re going up this coming Thursday night after work. I rang the bell when we got there. I heard whistling while Dad was running the snow blower. He finally heard it too. It sounded just like you used to whistle when you wanted our attention. I wrote in the book and then stood on the deck, watching the snow. I was thinking that you’d have already jumped off the deck—which wouldn’t have been that far, considering the drift is about nine feet high, three feet below the deck.



We started getting stuff out of the storage unit to take down to the house. I watered the trees for Brody with his little dog following every step. I laughed out loud when I remembered going with Jennifer to buy the trees and when we got home, we found out we had an extra tree. No wonder we thought we had such a good deal at the cash register. We stopped for lunch that same day. That was a nice time.



Right after Brody moved in, Dad, Brody and I were walking around the backyard and Brody was telling us about you calling him telling him you had snakes all over the backyard and to come down. Shane was with Reed and they were tearing down the old pole barn and that just happened to be where the snakes nested. When you got there you were expecting gigantic snakes, but found Reed and Shane (two very large guys) throwing little foot-long garter snakes into the pasture behind the house! I’m sure in their eyes they were pythons!



Watch over Kira and Morgan when they go to Europe next month. I can’t believe the girls are grown and doing stuff like that! It was truly just yesterday when we’d go to Potsy’s place in Flora Vista and you guys would shoot her air gun at targets. Memories, Reed. Cottonwood trees will always remind me of that special time. You collected them and I remember moments frozen in time.



I love you dearly. I miss you.

Hey Big Guy!



Last Sunday Dad and I went to the storage unit to get the washer and dryer out to take to the house for Brody. When we opened the door, we were slammed so hard with memories and the ache of losing you. I think it was because the go-cart was at the front. I heard laughter and giggling and flashes of you and Isaac tearing around the neighborhood with your caps turned backward, forgetting you were grown men and being little kids again. I saw Gayla and me laughing so hard because we didn’t know if the go-cart would pull the bulk of both of us! Well, you built it for adults and souped it up and if it would take you and Isaac for a ride, it would certainly take us. Everyone could hear us all around the neighborhood, laughing and squealing like little girls. No wonder all the little kids in the neighborhood hung out at your garage. That last Easter Sunday at your house was the last time the family was together and I’m thankful we had that one last picture together.



I hope these special moments never leave and I can enjoy them as they come flooding back as something sparks these wonderful memories. One of the best things you ever left all of us were special memories and moments in time we will never forget.



I love you dearly.

Forever in my heart.

I miss you, Reeder

Hey Big Guy,



We did it!! We finally closed on your house and we own it now. We met Gayla in Castle Rock last Saturday and signed the papers at McDonalds. We became homeowners in the middle of kids with Happy Meals! Very emotional for Gayla, Dad and me. This meant so much for Gayla to make this all possible. She said you were with her when the closing was getting down to the wire and when she felt you, she became very calm and the right papers and figures fell into place. Dad didn’t realize how much he wanted to keep the house until there was a possibility of us not getting it.



Angela, Lauren and I went down Sunday morning and started painting. Angela is very sensitive and knew you were with us. We loved knowing you were there and we hope you like the paint! We had a little picnic in the living room and Lauren watched a movie and drew pictures. Dad and Brody showed up later with the trailer and Brody started moving in. We knew you were with us and happy that there’s life in the house again. We were laughing because we took out really big screws at eye-level (your eye-level, which was way up high) that you hung your pictures on. Eye level to you, Brody and Tyler is quiet a bit higher than the rest of us! Brody will settle in and I know you will be sitting with him in the evenings, enjoying the music and memories that you collected.



Give Taylor reassurance that her Grandma is okay. I found a penny this morning and heard you whistle three times like you used to when you wanted to get my attention. I smile and said hello.



Miss you Baby. Oh, dear God, how we miss you.



Forever in my heart,

HI THHHEERE,,,

i miss ya i remember it was a year ago today that i was livin with you today a year a go nanny died well i miss you bye

Dear Son, Brother and Friend,



This week has been a little rough for Dad and me. We’ve had “Reed Days” where we miss you so much and just want to hear you talk to us or see you walk through the front door to rummage through the refrigerator for something to eat. I keep thinking I need to get my Jeep in for service because it has been 4,000 miles since John Grady changed the oil and checked it out for me. I just want you to stop on the way to work, open the door and yell up the stairs “Mom! I’m taking your Jeep to change the oil.”



Brody is going to Vegas today to see 311 in concert. I took him your 311 t-shirt that you got in Vegas when the two of you went to their concert—so maybe he will wear it and feel you standing beside him. Get your wings ready to go with him. We will be closing on the house soon and I’m glad he got this chance to take a couple of days off. Tyler will be taking time off in July to head to San Diego with Isaac to the toy convention. Can you imagine what a trip that will be? Of course you can. You’ll be riding with them, won’t you?



I dreamed about you the other night. I dreamed you were a little baby and changed before my eyes, just like fast forward. You aged in my dreams and looked just like Dad. It was so real, just like I was holding you and watching you grow. Just like reality, you were given to me and grew up too fast and I would give anything to slow down the hands of time to watch you grow in slow motion. Too soon, Reed, too soon. I hope anyone who reads this will slow down and enjoy every second of their child’s lives, even as an adult. There wasn’t a minute of my time with you that I wouldn’t love to live over and over again. That’s what memories are for, aren’t they? Because that’s what all of us have of your wonderful life.



Forever in my heart. I love you dearly.

Hi Reeder,



Well, we got your house. We sign on it next week and Brody will start moving in. Your Road Runner will have company with Brody’s 1966 Lincoln sitting next to it! We’re relieved this is almost over and I can’t wait to hang out down there and know that your “home” is alive again. We will take care of everything for you. I’m going to spend the first night with Brody at the house. The house will be Brody’s, but the garage will always be Reed’s. I know that as friends find out there’s another Ohlbrecht living there, they will start hanging out there again and I can see every one hanging in the garage, telling Reed stories, drinking beer and taking turns riding the go-cart. I hope Neil stops by to check out the Road Runner. Needless to say, the dirt bikes will not have a home down there ever again.



From my heart to your heart,

I love you. I miss you.

REEEEEEEEEEEED!!!!!!!



I loved what Isaac and Rebecca wrote and it brought back to me how very, very special your friends are and were to you. How you loved them all. I can just see Isaac and you taking that corner and laughing. When the two of you got together, Isaac made you start that unique and wonderful laugh and just hearing that would make everyone else laugh. Throw Tony into the mix and no one could say a word because we were all laughing so hard at you and Tony giggling and Isaac would be bouncing on the balls of his feet, eyes tearing up and the rest of us grabbing our stomachs. Priceless. I hope Isaac keeps sharing those stories with all of us. I will always think of the two of you when we drive through there.



I hope “Becca” (as you called her) and Ryan have a little boy so they can give him Reed as a middle name. That is so special that you are loved that much. I remember you telling me about the birthday sign she had made for you. I wouldn’t be surprised if I found it someday, tucked away in your belongings. I found a stein full of your hospital bracelets you had saved from all the times you were in the emergency room, so it wouldn’t surprised me one single bit—not one bit. Like Rebecca, I have not deleted your phone numbers from my cell and I never will. When Dad and I got new phones, I made sure you were still in his, too. I also will not take the sticky note off my office desk that has your cell, work and home number on it. I look at it every day.



I don’t know why, but I keep thinking about you, Tyler, Brody, Dad and me going to Vegas for Brody’s 21st birthday. You and Brody spent almost the whole night on the strip and told me you’d wait until groups of short people got together to pose for a picture and then you two giants would step into their picture with goofy smiles on your face. I bet they were surprised when they got back home and discovered the two of you in so many pictures. There was never a dull moment when you got together with brothers or friends.



Dad and I were down at your house last Sunday. The Road Runner is still safe. I knocked the cobwebs off so it wouldn’t look so abandoned. It looks like you are ready to start working on it again. Maybe we can get Neil down there. Once he’s there, we’d encourage him to piddle around with it!



Every night when I go to bed, I turn the thermostat down. The last picture you boys had made for me hangs right there. I tell you goodnight, wherever you are, and that I love and miss you so much. I tell Brody and Tyler I’m so proud of them and love them so much. Then, I kiss my finger and touch each one of you. Thank goodness for Angela and this site (thank you Joey and Felicia). They have been my comfort. Angela and I talk about you all the time. We cry. We laugh. We comfort.



Forever in my heart and soul. I love and miss you.

I think the year was probably around 96 but I may be off a year or two. These stories may skip around a bit because I tell them as I remember and think of them.



Reed had the Calypso Green Sunbug with the Empi rims on it. I think it was a 68 if I recall it correct.

My dad and I were building a 1964 Bug for me. We had just got the engine back together and in the bug.



Wet put a bigger bored engine in it to give it some more vrroooommmm. I used to rattle this off with such pride, I would tell people it was a 1776cc engine that would run with and 1835cc all day and stay cooler. Quoting my old man. But for a 19 year old, it was much faster and sounded cooler.



The first time it ran it was getting close to five o' clock at night. My dad said I needed to break it in with alot of different running speeds. He said the best way to do this was to take it up the pass to Woodland Park and back. At this time in my life Woodland Park was like the end of the earth, normal people just did not drive that far.(I also thought Chapel Hills Mall was in another state.)

I did not venture far out of security. I figured I needed a giggly Co-Pilot so I gave Reed a Jingle.



He Probably got to my house in ten minutes flat. He also brought Jon Grady in tow to be our back-up car in case of a break down.



We departed on our journey up the pass and the bug was running great.

We felt really cool as we cruised in my primer yellow bug with porsche chromes on it, later to be traded for five spoke Empi's.



I had a crappy radio but we did not even turn it up. Just to hear the sounds of the exhaust pipes I had put on it for a deeper non tweety bug sound was music to our teenage ears.



The best part was my dad hold told me not to romp on it until we had gotten all the way up and down the pass. We could barely contian our desire to do this. So when the South I-25 Exit came by Cimmeron you know the one that has the long curve and acceleration lane....WE ROMPED ON IT GOOD.



When I looked over at Reed and he back at me we both had idiot grins on our faces. Reed laughed and said, "Wow it is alot Faster."



I just said, "Wanna turn around and do it again."



There are many days I miss my old bug and my old friend Reed. Tough days where I have to work a crappy job to support my family. Days where the stresses outwiegh the joys by far. On those days...I think about my good times and my good friends and it pulls me through.



I take the I-25 Cimmeron exit every day now on my way to work. I drive a four door Mazda not a cool 64 VW on Empi's, but I still take the curve a little faster than everyone else. I still look in the mirror and have an idiot grin on my face......remembering.



Thanks, Im not the greatest writer but I like to tell the stories about my great friend Reed.

Hey Reedster,

Isn't it weird to see my new last name? I know you were at the wedding; we prayed for you during the Prayers of the Faithful. We had hoped Tyler and Brody would be there but I know they were trying to plan your party at the cabin. We've gotten to hang out with them several times and it's always good to see them. Ryan loves being friends again with Tyler. We call him a lot and take our chances to see him when we can. Just the other day I admitted to Ryan that I haven't been able to delete you in my cell phone. Every time I search through the R's I see you there. I was just thinkng about your 21st b-day. I had spent a few hours making you a birthday banner to hang on your front door. I snuck over the night before and hung it up. The next day you were so mad because you had seen it after coming home late from being out. In the morning, it was no longer there! Your girlfriend didn't like that I hung the banner so she threw it in the dumpster hoping you wouldn't ever see it. You went and dug it out of the dumpster and hung it back up. That was pretty funny and it was so sweet that you cared that much about what I had done for you. I'm sure you know, but Ryan and I moved into a new house. You would love our view! It will be a lot better for our 4th of July parties than my old house. Ryan told me yesterday that he thinks when we have a son, Reed would be an awesome middle name. I love you and miss you. I think of you often.

Hey up there!

Dad and I were at the cabin last weekend. Had to shovel a walk to the cabin to get to the snowblower so we could clear the driveway to get the truck in. There is a snow drift in front of the deck about five feet tall and I could just see you jumping off the deck and laughing as you're covered with snow.



It was cold, windy and snowy and I loved every minute of it. I know you would have had the driveway cleared and we could have parked all kinds of trucks up there.



I rang the bell for everyone. That always tears Dad up when he hears it and it makes him cry when I'm writing in the guestbook because I start missing you so much and of course, I start crying. I laid awake Friday night and watched the shadows from the fire place flickering off the logs and could remember each one you threw. You are so much a part of the cabin that it will never leave the family because that's where you are.



We love you. We miss you. Our hearts hurt with pain of missing you. Thanks for the dimes!



Love

Hi Baby,



Get your wings ready because we’ll need you as co-pilot on our way to the cabin in the morning. We’re taking the new oven up and it will be nice to cook upstairs in the real kitchen. Now, if we just had the sink installed! It’s just so hard to be up there and know that you aren’t with us to enjoy it. It truly is your place. I’ll ring the bell for everyone when we get there. Had a really hard “Reed Moment” night before last. Thank goodness I have Dad to hold onto. If I didn’t, both of us would fall apart. Missing you isn’t getting any easier and I don’t expect it ever will. I hope I see you again really soon. Last Saturday just wasn’t long enough, but long enough to see your smile. Love you Baby. I don’t know how I keep my heart from breaking constantly.

Hi Reed,

I haven’t written in a while. I had a very sad week before last. I just couldn’t quit crying from missing you so much. I was so sad and kept thinking about so much. Like—how Dad and I can’t ask you for help when we need it or that you won’t be stopping by and sharing your life with us. I had such a hard time just getting through work so I could head home and let the tears flow. Dad also had a hard week. It might have been worse because it was our anniversary and we had dinner with Tyler and Brody and there was a huge hole where you used to be. I don’t know. Dad worked all that weekend and I was home alone on Sunday and I just cried and grieved all day long. It seemed to help me get through another week.



Every night when I turn down the heat, I stop and talk to the picture of you three boys. I tell you how much I miss you and that I hope you’re okay wherever you are. I tell Brody and Tyler that I’m so proud of them for their stores and how well they’ve done. Then I kiss the tips of my fingers and touch your face.



I’ve been asking for a sign that you’re okay and happy where you are. I start to panic when I think about you being unhappy and alone. I saw you Sunday in a reflection on the Jeep window. You had your head cocked and smiling. I think you were letting me know that everything is going to be okay with your house. Gayla was down and we were writing an offer to buy it and we were on our way to your house to check it out to make sure everything is okay. I hope the offer goes through and Brody gets to move down there. I also know that you’ll be his roommate. Your Road Runner looked so forlorn, just sitting in your garage, waiting to come alive.



Angela gave me such a great story about the Candyland game. It made me smile just picturing you playing with Lauren. I had dinner with them a couple of weeks ago. Lauren is growing so tall. She's going to be a looker, so always watch over her.



I miss you baby. Dad misses you. Tyler and Brody miss you. Watch over us and reassure us that you’re okay. I love you dearly.

Hey Reed,



Lauren and I played the game Candyland this weekend and it reminded me of you. I remember teasing you that I was going to tell all your friends you where playing this game with us. You just gave me one of your stern looks and said "What happens in Candyland stays in Candyland" Of course the twinkle in your eye kind of out shined your stern look!

I think the part of this memory that is so important to me is the fact that I know there are a hundred other places you could have been, but you seemed perfectly content with us playing game after game of Candyland. We miss you in everything we do and in every memory we have.

Hey Big Guy,

Dad and I celebrated our 34th anniversary last Saturday. We went to Cripple Creek and spent the night. We spent almost the whole night talking about our 34 years together and our three sons. Needless to say, we cried a lot. We talked about you, Tyler and Brody and how you have made our lives worth living. We talked about special memories that we will always hold special. Dad told me the memory he will keep always in his heart is when he’d get home from work and you’d be the first one out of the house to welcome him.



We talked about the three of you growing up and what fine young men you grew up to be and how proud of you guys we are. We talked about the camping trips with Shawn and Jason (our other two sons). We talked about all the what-ifs. We’ll never know what you would have done with your life, but we know it would have been as full as it was before you left us. It would have been full of friends and family and maybe a family of your own.



We talked about how much we miss you and how we don’t think the pain will ever lessen. We talked about us getting older without you and how we’re prepared to join you. We talked about Tyler and Brody and how much they miss their brother. We asked each other what we can do to help them through the emptiness of you not being here to see how well they’re doing at the stores. We don’t know. All we can do is just be there for them whenever they need us.



Most of all, we talked about how amazed and blessed we are that you are our son and the marks you left on so many lives. We miss you so much. Maybe someday we’ll not be surprised at those moments that catch in our hearts and cause us so much sadness. Watch over us, Reed. We’re going to the cabin Saturday. Be our co-pilot.



Love,

Hey Reed!



I know you were with us on the last day of 2005 while we were at the cabin. Oh, Reed! You would have loved busting through the 5’ drift across the drive with Dad’s new snow blower. It really dragged him up the drive and through all the snow. Then you would have just stood there and said “it’s about time” when we turned on the lights with actual switches—not extension cords. It was the only happy day we had in 2005 since June. We turned on all the lights, all the porch lights and the ceiling fans on the ridge beam and went outside. The lights lit up the whole mountainside—I swear! It was so beautiful with the lights on, spilling out onto the snow. We stood outside and got emotional because you weren’t with us to see this day. I know the lights were bright enough for you to see where ever you’re looking down on all of us from. Then I looked at the snow drift in front of the cabin and knew without a doubt, you would have already jumped off into the snow.



Tyler and Brody are planning on going up there in a couple of weeks. They’ll like having the baseboard heaters hooked up because it will finally be warm all through the cabin. I hope lots of your friends go with them and they all have a good time telling “Reed stories” like the one Potsy posted. I loved that one about the Dr. Pepper. It made me smile.



I’m going to try to smile and laugh more this year. I’ll remember all the funny things you ever said or did. I’ll remember my three sons and how they always made me laugh out loud and how proud and thankful that I am so blessed. I’ll remember your friends and laugh. I promise, Reed.



The white rabbit and your business cards are a nice touch. How do you come up with these things? How can my heart keep beating when it is broken. I don’t know, but it does. I love you. Seven months today and I have no idea where those seven months went or how any of us survive.

Hello Reed!



Here it is New Years Eve. Traditionally a time of reflection for me...how the girls have enriched my life during the past year. Tonite I give special reflection to others about you. In '92 when the girls and I moved to Colorado Springs, we lived w/ you for a while...ten weeks...probably ten long weeks for your folks. But it was fun and a good place to be for the girls and me at that time. It was a time of healing.

I remember that you went to Nebraska to see your Grandma Ohlbrecht. You were excited when you returned because you had a special present for me. A bottled Dr. Pepper! This bottle was pretty scratched up from who knows how many refills. How cool is that? I thought it was darn cool because here is a teen aged guy who could have been thinking of girls, cars or anything other than an aunt and her addiction!



I still have that bottle of Dr. Pepper. I have never opened it and don't intend to. It has always been special to me. If I had had a strong enought magnet, it would be on the fridge. I not sure if the girls really know why I have that bottle or where it came from. It was my special moment, between you and me. I have smiled many times over the years when I see it. Thanks for the Dr. Pepper Reed, as well as the lesson that little thoughts of kindness can live forever.....love.....Potsy

Hey Baby,



This will be the last time I will write to you for this year. I’m just counting the hours and minutes until this horrible year is over. I never want to remember a single thing that happened in 2005. I don’t ever want to remember the horror of Tyler and Brody coming to the house to tell Dad and me when they found out you were gone. I don’t want to remember your friend’s devastation and how they flocked to the house to be with us during that nightmare. I don’t want to remember the heartbreak of taking care of your Celebration of Life, I will always remember your Celebration because it was the most awesome thing I have ever seen and heard. I don’t want to remember the days that followed as the reality sat in. I don’t want to remember finding little pieces of you throughout the house and in your house and garage. I don’t want to ever remember June 4, 2005 for as long as I live.



I want to remember you. I want to remember the last time I saw you when you stopped by the house two days before. I want to remember all the butterflies and pennies. I want to remember your smile and laugh. I just want to remember you without the parting. I want to look at the pictures of you and your brothers and you and your friends and shout to everyone “Yes, that’s my son and I am so proud of him and love him so much.” I will always touch my heart that is always on the chain around my neck because it has a piece of your heart inside. I will always love seeing geese fly in formation and watching them change leaders. I will always smile when I see a dust devil. I will always smile when I see a butterfly or find a penny in a place I would never expect to.



I was saving some things to ask you for when I got older. I wanted to ask you if you thought I was a good mother. I wanted to ask you about your memories of growing up. What were your favorite memories? I wanted to tell you that I was sorry if I had failed in any way raising you. I guess I'll have to wait a little while longer, won't I?



We’re going to the cabin in the morning. I want to just sit for a little while and remember every second you were there. I want to never forget how much that place meant to you and how proud you were. We will make sure we always ring the bell for everyone. I will lie awake, looking out there, and wonder what you’re doing. Touch me, Reed. I need to feel you again and I need the reassurance that you will always be with us. Until I see you again, I will hold you forever in my heart. I love you dearly and miss you so much I don’t think I will ever be the same again. Watch over of all of us. Be our co-pilot.



Love

Dearest Reed....

Sorry I didn't get around to wishing you and your family Merry Christmas...Christmas Eve was going as usual for me and I was finally done with my shopping and on my way to the bank, when BAM...I was rearended and the stupid guy left the scene. That was a present I could have done without...

I hope they find the guy cause my back is messed up and so is my ride darnit! I hope you had a nice holiday wherever you might be, but I will miss you on New Years as we ring it in we will toast and think of you.

Love ya...

Felicia and Joey

Hey up there Big Guy,



Christmas is finally over and the hard and sad times between Thanksgiving and Christmas have passed. It was heartbreaking to get through these two holidays without you. We missed you on Christmas day. Gaston came down and shared lunch with Dad, Brody and me. Tyler went to Ft. Collins with Lenny and Harley. It was good for all of us to get together. We haven’t seen Gaston since your celebration. He’s sad and misses you so much. He has one of your riding gloves that he keeps in his toy hauler, so you’re always with him. We gave him the seat covers that were in your Dodge, so you will always be his co-pilot. I remember how you were so impatient to hurry up and get through dinner because you were always on your way to some where. Either riding or four-wheeling. You could never sit still, could you?



Brody and Tyler did a busy December at the store. We’re so very proud of them. I know you’re watching over them and share their success with them. Dad can’t seem to stay away from the store, but I think it’s because he doesn’t want to be away from your brothers. He needs the reassurance that they’re okay. Of course, Dad doesn’t have to twist my arm to get me to go to the store with him.



Shawn and Jason called Christmas Day to see how we were doing. We had some laughs about past Christmas holidays. I think this is the first year that we haven’t been together as a family with them. Dad and I just couldn’t do the holiday thing this year. I didn’t even write the Christmas letter that you always loved. There are a stack of Christmas cards that neither one of us can open yet—but will, someday.



Jason told me a funny story about when you and all the guys from Faricy went to Hooters for Happy Hour and how you had sent a Hooter Girl to tell Jason there was a really big guy out in the bar that was going to kick his behind (only you didn’t say behind!). He looked out and there you sat, laughing really hard. So, he went on break and sat with the gang. I love stories like that!



Gayla told me the greatest story about how our family (Dad, me, Tyler, Brody, Gayla, Jason and Shawn) is like a gaggle of geese. They fly in formation and when the lead goose gets tired, it drops back and another one takes its place. When I get drained from trying to help the family and friends cope, I let someone else take over the lead. We’ve all been the lead goose, and we know that one of the family will fly up to lead for a while. I saw a flock of geese—seven in all, flying out on Powers when I was headed for the store on Christmas Eve. The lead goose was dropping back and another flew up to take its place. It made me cry because there were the seven of us and I knew I would always think of us as geese from that day on.



I miss you so much. I miss your laughter. I miss your smile. I miss how annoyed you used to get at me because I didn’t get the dinner on the table so you could be off! I miss you stopping by on your way home from work. I miss your stories about the friends you worked, camped, rode and hung out with. I miss my three boys together, entertaining us when we’d take you out to eat. But, I know you will always and forever be in my heart. I love you.

My dear, wonderful son,



Last night I dreamed you were standing by my side and when I went to put my arms around you and hold you, you weren't there. I woke myself up crying and tears were running down my cheeks, on to the pillow. I don't know how I can hold it together, knowing I will never feel your arms around me again, giving me one of your "oh! for crying out loud, Mom" hugs while you roll your eyes.



It's a couple of days before Christmas and the only thing I want is for the holidays to over and done with. I went shopping for some kids tonight that won't have a Christmas because they're all ill and the family is so broke and they won't have Santa come to their house. Santa Reed is stopping by for them. I just wish I could be there to smear charcoal on their little foreheads and tell them that Santa kissed them as they slept. I loved doing that with you, Tyler and Brody, even though it took you forever to calm down and go to sleep so I could kiss you for Santa.



My heart is breaking in two and I don't think it will ever quit hurting. You have left a hole bigger than life for so many people. I feel Felicia's pain and understand how mad she is. I try so hard not to let myself get mad, angry, and so sad. I feel like I need to be strong because so many people depend on me to lean on. Well, right now, I can't hold anyone up and if I didn't have Brody, Tyler and Dad holding me together, I don't know what I would do.



Would you touch all of us and reassure us that you're still with us? Like the song goes, "Calling all angels, I need a sign". I thought it was supposed to get easier as time passes, but it is only getting worse.



Help me, Sweetheart, I have to be strong. You are forever in my heart and on my mind--24/7. I miss you so much I could never explain it to anyone. It hurts so bad to love you this much.

Reed....



Hey up there. It has been a while since I came here to read anything. The pain of you bieng gone is so hard to deal with at times that I just loose it. I am always listening to songs on the radio that I know you would have liked and I just sit back and smile and have a Reed moment. This is the time of year when everyone gets together to celebrate life and family and fun, but in our hearts there is a super sized hole that is left now that you are gone. I am still so MAD that you are gone and life will never be the same. I want to make a wish on a snowflake that you will stop by the house and see Joey and me again. It all seems like the worst dream ever and I just want to wake up now and know that everything will go back to the way it was. I will probably never understand why things like this have to happen, I just wish there was a book to find all the answers in so I could set my mind at ease.I was reading what your mom posted and I hope Brody can get your house.That would be great to have a part of you always to see when we drive by knowing that all the fun times we shared out there won't be lost to someone that never knew you.The garage could come back to life again and maybe there will be more happy times in the future for your family. Elaine, Rick, Brody and Tyler.... I hope you have a good Christmas even though you've all lost so much. Our thoughts and prayers are with you...

Love ya,

Felicia

Reeeeeeeeeeed,



We were at the cabin last Saturday on a day trip. The snow had drifted in the drive about hip deep. We had to shovel a trail to the cabin. I rang the bell when I got there. I smiled because it was so beautiful up there and I could just see you on the snowmobile or in your Blazer, busting through and laughing all the time. We only stayed long enough to put all the lights and baseboard heaters where they need to be so when the electrician can finally get up there, he’ll know where everything goes. I don’t think we’ll go up again until after the first of the year.



Right now, the only thing we want is for this year to get over with. Too much. We’re thankful that Brody is okay from his accident and that everything is fine with Tyler, thanks to Gayla. We only have one more major thing to deal with and that’s your house. Brody will live there if we get it and Shawn is looking forward to coming down and hanging out in your garage and telling “Reed” stories and drinking a toast to you.



I had dinner last night with Angela. It was a good dinner and we only teared up twice. The first time was when she read her fortune cookie and it said “pennies from heaven will appear on your door”. We laughed about that because we found so many pennies at your house when we were there and it seemed like they were always in twos. If you wanted to have dinner with us, you didn’t have to give her a heart attack! We loved it! She was telling me about the blotched attempt when the tooth fairy visited Lauren to pick up her two teeth. I was telling her about how I saved your wisdom teeth and you thought I was weird because I told you that you might have kids someday that needed something to take to show and tell.



Dad and I are in training tomorrow at the store. Brody is going to trust us to run it Sunday. Tyler and Brody need a day off. Christmas has kept them busy. Take care of all of us and everyone who knows and loves you. We all know that you’ll be here with us as long as we need you. Touch Dad. He’s missing you so very much and having a hard time holding it together. It is so hard for him to go to your house, but I believe that if Brody moves down there, he will be able to go down there with the best of memories.



I love you dearly. I miss you so much. You’re forever in my heart.

Hi Baby,



I wanted to say hello and let you know you need to get your wings on because Dad and I are heading to the cabin this morning and we need our co-pilot with us. We’re doing a day trip so we can take the lights up so the electrician can get the fixtures installed. It has been a while since we’ve been up there. I have this need to ring the bell.



Chrissy (Jerry’s wife) called night before last. We talked for a long time. She understands the pain of losing someone because she lost her brother several years ago. I hope Jerry gets to bring her out someday to see the cabin and the place that means so much to you.



We got the most beautiful card from Alice yesterday. She wrote that her, Don and Bill think about us often and feel the loss. I have no doubt that she does because she’s my sister and knows how close all of you kids were when you were growing up. She also sent a gift card she had made for Walmart/Sam's. It is the picture of the trumpet vine that she posted on your site here that says “In Loving Memory of Reed Ohlbrecht”. Dad and I held it together pretty well this week and then lost it when we saw the card. We held each other and wept because we miss you so much and Alice was so thoughtful and caring to do that for us. I have her picture that I printed out when she posted. It is right by my computer at work so I can see it every day and think about Alice and you. It’s a beautiful picture. Alice posted the first picture of you and Jerry in your walkers and that gave me the courage to post all the other pictures of you, your friends and family.



Grandma P and Alice also donated to a Christian Children’s Home in your name. You are so very loved by so many.



Brody was at Faricy’s yesterday, looking for a new vehicle. He saw Don and Gaston. I’m glad he got to see Gaston. It has been a while since we’ve seen him and I know that first time was hard on Gaston. We all saw Don at the cabin when he helped with the sheetrock. I need to take the Jeep in for either Don or Gaston to look at and let me know if the knocking is serious.



Love you dearly. Love you forever and always. Love you because you are you.

Hey you up there!



I just wanted to let you know that so far (this week and it’s only Tuesday), we’ve had drama that we could live without! Brody was in an accident Monday on his way to the store. Thank goodness he is just sore, but it looks like there’s a possibility that the 4-Runner will be totaled. The truck is just material, Brody is heart and soul. I could lose a truck, but never another son. Thanks for riding with him.



Tyler is finally completely out of his condo. Becky is going to rent it and her whole family has pitched in to help paint and clean it. I remember so clearly when Tyler first moved out and into his own place. I know he had just turned 20, but still, he was my baby and I cried like a baby. Then, you bought your first place by him and moved out when you were 19. I cried even harder because I was losing my little boys, one at a time. Then, remember? Brody just didn’t move out to another place in town—he moved all the way to CA. I’ll still remember him telling me the umbilical cord didn’t reach that far! I don’t know why I’ve been thinking about that empty nest lately. Maybe it’s because Christmas is coming up—I don’t know.



Tyler still has his sense of humor. When Becky’s little girl, Kylee and Lynnea’s little boy, Dylon, ask Tyler who he was, Tyler told them “it doesn’t matter who I am. It matters that I know Santa Clause” and it was worth the look on their five-year old faces! Big huge eyes just popping open as they looked way, way up at him. I’m getting joy out of children and their excitement for Santa, but I’m trying hard not to be so sad because you aren’t here with us. I just wish it was over and done with.



Watch over Tyler and Brody, no matter where they are or what they’re doing. I love you and miss you so much. You have my heart forever and always. I love you dearly.

Hi Reeder (Kathy's very special name for you)



There’s so much to tell you! Kira and Gayla came down Wednesday night before Thanksgiving. There were things we still needed to buy, so the three of us went to Walmart. You should have seen your (elder) aunt Gayla and (more elder) mom trying to figure out the self-checkout. Thank goodness Kira was there and helped us through it. Bless her heart! The young is taking care of the Old.



We toasted you, Baby, before eating. Very sobering and sad. We all felt the huge hole you have left behind. Jason came and Shawn brought Jenny with him. She has such a sweet, kind heart and I’m so glad they have her for a sister. Jason was sorry Shawn didn’t bring the “Bean” down with him. We all would have loved to see her. We didn’t let Shawn offer the blessing because of the milk through the nose thing he seems fond of. It was his birthday. He grew up when I turned my back.



Angela wrote such a powerful note the last time she posted—about what she and Lauren are thankful for and it kept ringing in my mind and I tried to think of something to be thankful for, too. I’m thankful, Reed, that we have funny memories of all of you boys at past Thanksgivings and every time the five of you were together. These are special memories.



We got through the day, but there is a lingering sadness around all of us. Monday night was Tyler’s 31st birthday and we all met at Old Chicago’s. Lenny came with Tyler and she enjoyed herself. She never got the chance to be around the three of you together. I wish I could take away the pain from Brody, Tyler and Dad.



Touch Brody, Tyler, Dad and Angela. Let them feel you and that you are still with us. Miss you so much. Love you dearly. You’re spirit is in our hearts forever. Thanks for the energy field. I loved that!

Happy Thanksgiving Reed,



Lauren and I where talking this morning about what things we are thankful for this year. My list of what I am thankful for has changed very much this year. This has been a rough year for a lot of people, because you aren't here in body with us anymore. No matter how we all wish things could have been different, we can't change that your gone. But on the opposite side, having to deal with the loss of you, I have had to grow alot. I realize more now than ever what is important to me in life and what silly stuff needs to be put aside. I worry less about cleaning the house because someone might stop by, and spend more time with my daughter reading books, playing games, or just laughing. I realize I need to finally let the pain of my past go so I can live my life the way I so want to and need to. I don't want to hide behind feelings and emotions anymore because I am afraid of being hurt or vulnerable. I don't care about what negative things people may say about me because I know I am doing everything I can to grow and become a better mother and person. The one thing that Lauren and I agreed on is that we are thankful for you. It is so wonderful to have you as our special angel. I know you look after everyone else also, but to know that we are two among the many you care for is a very special Thanksgiving blessing for us. To have known you in this life and to have shared time with you in this life makes my Thanksgiving blessings all the more special. Becoming friends with your Mother is also one of the things high on my list this year. She has helped me heal and grow more than she will ever know. She is a wonderful, brave women, who even though her heart is breaking now, still manages to love endlessly.

Happy Thanksgiving Reed! I know all the cool people are hanging out at your table tomorrow!

Dear Reeder (I love Kathy's name for you!)



This weekend the family was scattered all over. Dad and Tyler went to NE to visit with Grandma and she fixed them a Thanksgiving dinner. I spent part of Saturday at the store with Brody. They’re doing very well, Reed. I know you’re as proud of your brothers as Dad and I are and that you keep an eye of what’s happening. Brody when to the Bronco game with Shawn on Sunday. I went to Cripple Creek and spent the night with Judy. It was a break to sit and watch the wheels spin and not think about how much I miss you and the ache that is always there.



Angela and I went to your house yesterday. Thank you for stopping by when we were looking east and talking about how much you loved the sunrises from your place. We found pennies and dimes. Dimes? Wow. Angela found Brody’s Al Serra name badge in the garage. Thanks. Brody will get a kick out of having it to save. She felt you, Baby, and took my hand and gently told me "he's here" so we both know that you’re still watching over us and we clung to each other and had ourselves a good cry. Lauren’s two bottom front teeth are wiggling! She’s going to be whistling through the gap. Watch over her and make sure the Tooth Fairy finds her way.



This is going to be a really hard week for us. We just can’t do that Thanksgiving dinner without you, yet. I’ll miss you wanting to hurry though the meal so you can get going to either ride your bike or go four-wheeling with the gang. Remember when all you kids were young and would start laughing during the blessing? Of course, it didn’t help any when Shawn would blow milk out his nose! What wonderful memories.



I had a night last week when I heard a diesel truck go by the house and it just tugged at my heart and I put my head in Dad's lap and cried because I miss you so much.



Miss you so much my heart feels like it breaks a little bit more every day. Your Spirit is in my heart forever. I love you.

hey you!!!!

hi Reed!!! How Are you up there?! me and my mom miss you!!! i wish that you were here!!! i almost started crying the other day when i was looking at the pictures my mom took of you and i had put some of them on a CD and it brought back memories when i used to be on your computer ALL the time lol well i dont live with my mom anymore!!! i love with my dad and i am doing great except for the fact that everytime i think of you or Nanny i start to cry!!!! and i think of you both a lot becuz you were a part of my life at one point and you meant alot to me and my mom and we miss you very much!!!! and if you could will you please tell nanny that i said i love her and i miss her very much and i cant wait til i get to c her again!!! (and you of course) you will always be in my thoughts and prayers!!!

love always,

Taylor aka knuckle-head!!!

Hey Big Guy!



So much to tell you! I rang the bell so loud and long when we got to the cabin because I wanted you to know we were there and things were coming together! The plumber was there and had a tub in the downstairs bath, hooked up the water to the pressure tank and on-demand hot water and put the drains in upstairs for the tub and shower. I was so excited I just had to call Tyler and Brody to tell them. But you already know all that, don’t you? Not only was that news, but the meter is on the cabin and off the temp pole. We’re now hot to the cabin and the electrician can come back to finish the switches and lights. I wonder now if I made any sense to your brothers and they just pretended to know what I was talking about. You remember how the three of you used to just shake your heads, roll your eyes and tell me “okay mom, whatever you say”.



We almost have all the sheet rock up. We’re just a couple sheets short and the wind was blowing and it was snowing, so we decided not to go down the hill to the lumber yard. A huge pine by the big abandoned house snapped from the wind and fell on the electric line, so we were out of power for a couple of hours. We thought, great! Just when we finally get electricity, it goes out. It only took a couple of hours for them to cut the tree up and get the electric up and running again.



Dad and I didn’t get sad until we were leaving and I was writing in the journal. He can always tell when I’m writing because I start crying and it gives him an excuse to give into the grief and cry with me. We talked about all the times you were up there and brought your friends and how much you were looking forward to having your weekends up there. Playing poker, drinking beer and talking all night, then gearing up to ride or four wheel. Such an empty feeling, Reed. We’ll never get the satisfaction of how you would truly enjoy your friends and brothers up there. Tyler and Brody are so busy at the store, we don’t know when they can come up and the thought of the two of them there without you is such a sad thought.



Forever in my heart. Forever in my thoughts. I love you deeply. I love you dearly. I love you forever.

Sweet, Sweet Baby,



Dad and I are heading to the cabin at noon today, so we need our co-pilot. I’m pretty sure you won’t need a seatbelt! Isaac just nailed it with the music, didn’t he? I had dinner with Angela last week and we talked about how we listen more to the lyrics of songs because of you. She gave me a Better Than Ezra CD and #6 belongs to her. We talked about you having the biggest garage, full of every man-toy you want and a fridge full of beer for when people like James Dean drops by. It’s my way, Reed, of convincing myself you’re okay and watching out for all of us.



Need you to touch Gaston to let him know you’re okay. I feel like I have your arms wrapped around me because I’m wearing your Five-Star black jacket today. I’ll ring the bell for everyone when we get there. I hope I see another dust devil while I’m there. By the way, the TV is a nice touch!



Love you so much. Miss you so much. You’re in my heart forever.

I feel the pain of everyone. Then I feel nothing... Dinosaur Jr.



That was I think the first song that Reed boldy stated I should hear, and when I did I loved it. It had kind of a peaceful guitar riff, kinda chimy which he knew I would like. That is not the song I wanted to talk about today though.



If I remember right it was 1995. Reed was driving the Red and silver 88 Camaro before it became mine. He called me at my parents house, were I was living year one after High School, and said, "Dude, you gotta hear this song." This was always a good experience for me twofold. I got a visit from Reed and usually had a new musical door opened up for me.



The song was "Cupid De Locke" by the Smashing Pumpkins. I was no stranger to the Pumpkins but this was off there new double album that I had neglected to buy yet.



He came over to my parents house in the Camaro and I jumped in. He had a speader box in Camaro's hatch back with I think two twelves but Im not sure. These did not come with the car when I bought it. Reed said he really liked this song and he thought it was "Floaty." Reed often had words like that to describe songs to me before I first heard them.



I listened to the song and instantly loved it. Which was the normal reaction I had when Reed played new stuff for me. Indeed the song was Floaty mostly because of the use of a harp in it. I asked him if there were any more songs he liked and he said there were a bunch. With that I decided I better own it. He asked if I wanted to go to Media Play and pick it up. This was normal for Reed. I don't think it was a burden for him at all. He seemed to enjoy driving around town listening to songs in his cars and trucks and jeeps and bugs. I looked forward to the trip not only to have another good album, but to spend more time with him and see if I could get just on more giggle from him along the way.



I listened to alot of the album tonight for the first time in awhile. Its not like I was avoiding it I just had not gotten around to it in the rotation of things. This probably was the best album that SP ever put out. In my humble opinion. You see there are two sides to it, a light and a dark. Or an up and a down to it. You can put in whatever is according to your mood. But all the songs are wonderful. They sing about Teenage angst all the way to a light, happy, peeping tom song called Lily. I guess what Im trying to say is if ya knew Reed in any fashion check this album out. Some of the songs scream his personality and some quietly whisper it to your ear. It reminds me of him and good times.



Times when we were both innocent and had no clue of what to do after High School other than enjoy each others company.... and that we did.



Love ya man

Love ya Tyler,Brody,Elaine, and Rick

Hey Big Guy!



I just wanted to say hello and let you know what has been happening in the past week. Dad and I went to the cabin last Friday morning. We met the plumber up there and he’s going to get the tub and shower drains in and hook up the holding tank and the on-demand hot water heater. He’s also putting in a tub in the downstairs bath. We’re finally getting there! I wish you could be there to stand in the cabin and say “’bout time!” and roll your eyes.



While I was ringing the bell for everyone and calling out their names, a dirt devil started at the drive and went up the road. I just smiled, said “hey Reed” and kept ringing the bell. On the way home all the lights on the truck went out. It was pitch black and not a car in sight. Scared us to death, but we knew your hand reached for Dad’s and turned on the manual lights. You are never going to get any rest because we’ll always need our mechanic with us. Thank you for watching over us.



Jennifer called and left a message while we were gone. I’m sorry I missed her and hope she will call back. I want to talk to her and share some memories with her. Now, if Gaston would check in with me, I’d feel better.



We’re still working on your house. Gayla is being a big help to us. Tyler and Brody are staying so busy and Dad and I make it a point to go to the store a couple of times a week. We watch the commercial every Monday night and see Don’s girls. They look so cute!



I miss you. I love you dearly and with all the memories I can bear, you are forever and always in my heart and your spirit is always with us.

REEEEEEEED!!!!!



I’ve been so overcome by sadness this week that I haven’t been able to write to you. While I was at work Wednesday, I suddenly thought about the times when you were sick and would come to the house to lay on the couch and let me take care of you. I had to leave and take a walk and when I was trying to hold it together, there were three butterflies. One was the same kind that Shawn took pictures of outside his front window (now my screen saver) and two were yellow ones that Angela sees. Thanks for the smile. I needed that.



We’re going to the cabin Friday morning. We’re meeting the plumber. The electricity will be hooked up to the cabin soon. Then, we’ll be able to flip a switch and you’d be happy there are no longer going to be all the extension cords. Get your wings ready. We need you to be our co-pilot. We’ll ring the bell when we get there. Gayla will ring it when she gets there Friday night.



Dad got the engine and transmission for the Road Runner out of your garage. We gave the snowmobiles to Shane and bless his heart—he was in tears when he was there. Touch his heart to let him know you’re okay. He found pictures of you and of his bachelor party. He's going to let me scan them and I'll post some of them. We’re planning on building a garage in the back yard to put the Road Runner in. We promise you that some day we will get it finished and it will stay with us as long as we’re alive, then Tyler and Brody will take care of it for you.



Sunday was the first day that Tyler and Brody have been down together since you left us. I cooked your favorite meal and I kept expecting you to walk through the door, grab a handfull of steak snakes and rush out the door to go riding or four wheeling. Dad and Tyler went to the storage shed and it hit them so hard when they opened the door and saw your belongings. Brody wasn't able to stay long either. The hole you left was certainly felt by all of us.



I wish I could hear your wonderful laugh again and see your beautiful smile. Someday, baby, someday I will. Until then, just know that your spirit is forever in my heart. I love you dearly. We miss you so much.