Sanford Mallard Obituary

Hey dad it has been a while since I wrote to you but you know that I am always thinking of you and you never leave my thoughts. I am trying to do better with my health and my life and im watching over mom and my sisters and nephews and neices. You know how those girls are but I love them as always. Im a little happier these days and I know you and everyone up there know the reason why. But anyway dad know that I love you and miss seeing you physiclly and you will always be in my heart and tell everyone up there with you I said hi and I love and miss them to, hug them all for me. I love you so much dad, Love ya baby girl Mariah.

It's not easy believing that it's been over a year since the loss of you and Cleotis. I miss him terribly and it's been a roller coaster with my emotions. I still remember being in the car with you and Cle and you telling me how happy you were that him and I were together. I wish I could go back so many times and make the times we had better. Play cards, sing, dance and tell good stories (embellished) so that we all could have a good laugh.

Today, I just can't stop the tears. So many times you think those hard moments are over, but they have a way of popping up again without notice and you realize that you still have a ways to go.

I know that it's the last day to put an entry in your book, but it's not the last day to remember you and love you.

To all of the family, I love all of you.

Bev

Hi Honey,
Didn't have a BBQ this year. First time since I can remember that we did not get together on Memorial Day. Things have changed so much. Mom will be 90 this year. WOW she is doing good and I am proud how she wants to be strong. I miss you very much. Babsuder

hey uncle been a while scence i talkked to you oh i miss you so much i wish you were still here

Hey Honey. Well this is the second time that I have written so much and it was to be in on 4/25/08 and wasn't. What I wrote could of been a book by it's self. I know you know how much I truly love and miss you Sam. As of Saturday 5/3/08 we moved again. Mariah and I, to a two bd. rm. apt. Can't fit everything in there. Even after leaving so much behind and still having things in storage. But then again. We always lived in homes, 3 and then 4 bed rms with up and down stair to fill up. This is one story. Anyway. It is a change and tring still get myself together has not been easy because I am still not together. Still stuck with the job I am no longer happy with. Everything going up in price around us. I can't even make it to see mom everyday like I use to. I am luck if I can do it once a week. Something has got to give. I am not going to give up though. I miss my best, best friend. I miss being able to talk to you all the time about any and everything. How you would just sit and let me run my mouth about this job. Then you'd say. "It will be okay Boodie. I wish you didn't have to work and one day you won't if I have anything to do with it". You are the best honey. You tried so hard. You helped so much. You beautiful man. Wish I could kiss your face all over....I love and will cherish the love and life we had together for always Sam. If one day I let you go on your way. I hope you will be happy for me. I am really lonely Sam. I am not looking because I will be looking for you. So I say if it's god's will to show me some one else then so be it. But for now it's work, mom, the kids and grands that keep me from falling apart. Well baby time has really gone by so quick and left me behind to still morn for you. In June on the second will be the last day of your book. I am going to get a copy. I am closing this note for now baby. I am at work. But you know I am always missing and thinking about you daily......My Love

Your Bootie

Hey dad, how you doing? Well i just want you to know that it's been a real ugly year for everybody but the best part was knowing that your in a better place and we still got you looking out on us.I wanted to write you when it was a year but that day i wrote to myself about all the memories and i wouldn't have ever thought that you really played a very big part in my life.I want to you thank you for making me out to be the strong lady i've become and thank you for not giving up on me,especially when you never gave up one me. I LOVE YOU LENA

hey popz, I been doing fine i miss you always and forever I have been doing good and school but i wasn't able to show you and grandma my good behavoir and attiude well i'm sorry for being a handful. I LOVE YOU

I'm really sorry that i gave you ahard time but i would not chanhge anything because you left me with great memories and i wih i could have been there for you when you died man i wish i could hold you one last time i love you so much poppy and i know you happier in a better place.

hey poppy i miss u its been one year that u been gone i wish i could of told u by but it to late man things i miss about u well iam going to see u later i have to get ready too be a man like u

Things always change, you never know what to expect from one month to another. Life is so precious we should never take it for granted. We all miss you. The first thing Mom said this morning is that it has been one year today. It's hard to believe that at a family pic-nic my only siblings there (out of 8) was Ricky. Just unbelievable. I do not know if it has registered yet, even after a year. The impact shows up in different ways and the emotions are all over the place. Can you just send me an email? I have fears that I will not be able to spend time with my family. I do not see them enough if I work and I can not provide if I do not work. How do you handle such a yo yo emotion like that. Crazy huh! I have been reading a book that says the only thing we can control is what you are doing at that moment in time, now. By concentrating on what you are doing at that moment in time, you will be in better control because you mind is not wandering on things that are beyond your control. That is so hard to do but it has help me from being sad sometimes. Well I have just ramble on. LOVE YOU SO MUCH, Babesis

Hey dad its been one whole year since you left my and our whole families life physicly but not emotionally. I think of you everyday and know you are part of what is helping me to get back on my feet and push through whatever it is I have thats holding me back. Dad you know once I get out into that world they better watch out because this daughter of yours has big plans for her life and you already know what they consist of and I will always make shure mom is taking care of and never lonely and I miss you each day. You are the only father I had that was there for me and you are still here in my heart and tell everyone of the family members up there with you having a good time that I love and miss them also. Dad continue to watch over us and guide us all in the right direction for life and greatness. I love you always. Your baby girl Maya.

I love you baby. Sam honey, what I wouldn't do to have you home with me....bootie

hey dad it's me,lena i know it's been a while but i would never forget you i would always get to a computer to wrote you to let you know that we are all doing fine. I talk to momma as much as i can to try to keep her sprints up and just think tomorrow
will be a year and it feels like yesterday and i know it's getting ready to be a tripped out day. Tell Jabor and everybody i send my love hug and kiss my uncle lester for me. I i,m really sad because this was suppose to be me and your summer we well should i say i was going to grill for you and then sit back and feed you until you busted,and then lay back and watch alot of moves i got alot.I am the bootleg DIVA. I love you dad so much you were the daddy i needed when my life was going in circle and you straighting me out and i'm glad blessed me with you for a lifeime. Huggs and Kisses Talena Mallard

"Smile Now...Cry Later...
I used to love to here you sing that song. You would sing for me at the drop of a hat, I would just call you and you would get on the piano and sing...that is the song you always sang for me and I listen to it all the time. I hear from Denniece periodically - I can feel her pain. You had such an impact. When you were still here with us, heaven was missing an angel...that is no longer so...I know you are leading a heavenly choir along with Cle as your assistant...I'm sorry we hadn't seen each other in such a long time. I'm glad I was able to see you at least twice and I got a picture of you. In all these years, I never had a picture of your handsome face. I will write you again tomorrow. I know you are looking down here at all of us that miss you and lov you so much...YOur Friend Forever, Peggy

Yep. It's me again. Good morning honey. I heard you and Cle laughing last night about something that must of been to funny. Tell Cle, Lester, Stel, Dad, Vernon, Grandmom, Jade, everybody we know I miss them much. I know you all are just so happy, pain free and enjoying one another. I am happy for you in that way my baby. But I still miss our morning coffee and talks. Mainly on the weekend. That's when I did have the time to be with you and smell the coffee. You know I don't drink much any more. I surely don't have it every morning like we use to. I or you would make us a cup or two every morning before I had to leave for work. We would watch and discuss the news as I got ready for work. I don't have anyone to talk to in the mornings and I drink my coffee with. To have our debates was what watching the news was all about for us remember? Well my honey. I just wanted to check in with you and let you know the love I will always have for you no matter if you are with me or not. I have to pay bills. Still trying to get a place of my own (maya and I). I left so much when I left the house. I really hate that. But baby there was so much of us as a family there I was over whelmed and didn't know what to do. All I saw was bills and my no payin job where I could not afford to stay there any longer. Plus the whole house had you in it. Talkin about crying from the time I looked at the car. Looked at the driveway and garage. Going in the house. Oh please going up stairs to our room and the computer room. The kitchen where your Prum juice sprayed on the ceiling. Where you marked off DayShawns growth. Memories were that house. Well. Day is here trying to read as I write now. So I am going to have to close for now....I love and miss you Sam

Bootie

Honey, I love you. I don't know if you got the first note I tried to write today. But I am here at work and that means interuptions. I was thinking of you as always and remembering Last Easter. I was kind of glum you know. But when Naytrese and the boys came over it lit you up a little. Day and you with the candy and O'Shay just lookin, he was only 5 goin on 6 months that march. How you loved gettin your candy on. I went out of town for Easter honey. I went to Atlanta, GA for a get away R&R. It was nice but short. Anytime out of Co. even if it was a year would be to short. Then back to this place called a job. I miss you Sam I hope you feel this. I miss that mustach going up when you smiled and your boyish ways. I love and miss you baby so much

Bootie

Hello Sweetheart. Well baby. I am sorry I didn't write yesterday. Not a good one. 11 months honey and I guess this really means I will never be with you. I have not even felt rush of your air come to me. I though I would. I have not heard from Ipress or Sherie. I have tried calling her, but her phone is out of mins. or something every time. Sherie. Well after leaving so many msg's on her phone right after you left. Some one calling back to say they were not the person I was looking for. I quit. I guess no you. No need. I still feel you and see you Sam. I even some times smell the smells of you. (Hey! That might be you). My heart still hurts just as bad when I think of you and I. As it did when you left. I still cry when I think of you and write you. There were always words with us. Something to say between us and they will never be said again. Our connection with out words. Your gentelness, calmness, sweetness. Everything about you is what I miss. I try not to compare when I meet people but then again there is no comparison and will never be. When I was away from you there was a tall guy that was real bow legged and had a big fro that I use to watch out my window. But when he turned around he didn't have your handsome face. I would like to see a look a like. Just so I could stare at a living, breathing person that might remind me of you. But I don't think that will ever happen. So I keep you pictures at my bed, on my job, and in the car. Maybe I am making it hard on my self but I can't let it go. I can't just put you up and let go. No. Not yet baby and I am sorry. I love you so much Sam......
Bootie

Hey Brother,

It's been a while since I could write my thoughts to you but today just seems to be the day. I really miss you and your so mellow self.

I haven't talked with Deniece for a while because it took me so long to be able to come to grips with the loss. I know the family is reeling and we each have to somehow be able to accept what happened. I know I did mine in a shell and I have accepted what cannot be changed. That's the only way I could survive.

It's been a year since Husband left and 10 months since you left. I'm learning how to go on and I wish I could tell D" how to so I could help her, but I don't know that I can. I know how much she loves you and I truly understand what she's going through.

All I can say is rest well Brother and give my "Boo" a hug for me. I will always keep your smile in my heart and I miss you too.

Your Sister not only in-law, but in love,
Beverly

Hi honey, I am here at this job taking a break from the madness and was lookin at your beautiful face, wishing you were here. I don't feel the same any more about some things. I hate being on the phone long because I when I get out of this place it seems I just want to be left alone. I thought I would be getting myself together by now, but it's just not happening. I still live with Naytrese, I have no money in the bank, I am still in a depressed mold, I really miss talking and laughing with you Sam. There are people to talk to but it will never be the way we did it. Seeing you laugh, putting your finger where your tooth was gone trying to hide it. That never worked because it was your smile I was lookin at. not that you had a tooth gone. Sorry about that interuption baby. You remember how this place is. A lot has changed in this place since you left, and it has not been good. But I don't want to bother you with the mess. You heard it enough when you were here. Sam, I just don't know what to say. I know I hurt when I think about you. I hurt because I was not the last person you saw before you closed your eyes for the last time. Hurt, because I feel like I could of done more for you, could treated you so much better. But like I said before, things would of been perfect if people knew when they were going to lose the ones they love for good. When would lived it to the fullest. Wish I had of kissed you more. Made love to the end. We had not been together about two year before you died because I though I would hurt you. I bet there would of been a way for us to of gotten closer in that way if we or I had of tried. We were so very close, our love so very deep, our hearts did beat for each other and that is why mine is so lost. I saw some nice shirts I could of gotten you this springs. This was going to start our life again this come spring. We were going to take off to Calif., Ky, and Shy. Remember? I want to enjoy my life and I know what we talked about if it ever came to this. But baby it is not easy at all. I think even though you were tired of pain and missed Cle so much. If I had of done better for and with you. You would of held on til we got older together. I am so sorry I didn't try to make you want to stay here with us. Sorry I didn't let you know you are my heart and life. What am I to do Sam? I don't want to feel like this for ever. I am here. What do I do? It's not easy to move on. I think I can try but no one is like you. Oh I have had a laught or two, but it's just not YOU!!!! The only one who could finish my sentence, start my sentence. Have gut laughts for dumb things. We thought alike baby because we were one once. I love you Sam honey

Your boodie (for life)

Hey dad its your baby girl once again coming through to give you my thoughts and tell you how much I LOVE you and miss you. Even though you were not here physicaly I had a good Valentines day and I knew you were watching over us and blowing kisses down to us and letting us know that you were one of our V-day love bugs also. I miss you so much dad words cannot explain there are so many things I want to ask you, then I realize your not hear to answer them for me and makes my heart hurt. I am still trying to get back to the old Mariah you know and love and always ate sweets with LOL, Dad continue to watch over our family and bless us and let us know that everything is going to be alright and you will make shure of that dad continue to guide me in the right direction, help push me back on my feet and away from whatever this illnesss is. I LOVE you dad and miss you my heart hurts that your not around physicaly but you are here mentaly I will continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Love your baby girl Maya. Kissess dad

Hey brudder, I have come to this page so many times and closed it. My heart so full of the things I would say to you if we were face to face, or on the phone. I miss your quiet way of listening without judging! You could always ask a question, that would help me put things into perspective. I think often of how we would bring our questions and problems to you, and although you were sick you always had patience, love and wisdom to give! I know you are smiling down on us from heaven! Your smile, smile! I love you! Until we meet again, love your sister, Glenora

Hey dad I know it is late in the night and I should be sleep but I can't help to think about you with your grandsons around specially the youngest one Oshea that you didn't get to know that well face to face like the rest of your grandkids, but I can tell you this he knows you he kisses your picture and does this same leg dance you use to do when we were kids. He smiles when he sees your picture so I guess you two have conversation through his dreams. I love you dad and I know you are behind us trying to help us all pick up the pieces and help us get ourselves together but it is hard dad I wish these people would find out what is wrong with me so I can start my life, im to young to have my life on hold like this. I know whenever I decide to have a kid maybe two LOL you will be in the room cheering me on and telling me to be brave. Dad I miss you and your cooking and your funny stories of your child hood. Tell my other uncles and auntie and grandparents I said hello and love and miss them also. Keep us all safe dad and let us get back onour feet and stand strong like we were before. Im going to end this now your baby girl Maya, Kissess daddy I love and miss you so,so, so, so much. Goodnight.

Hey my honey, yesterday marked the 10th month that you have been gone. thank you for going with me to the creek yesterday and helping me get that $400. You know how hard i am trying to make sure my bills get paid and that job sure is not workin for me anymore. Anyway baby coming back home on the bus last night was sad. i had momories of us going up and down that hill in all kinds of weather. the moon was bright like some of the nights we rode back and we could see the stars we would hold hands, i would lay on your shoulder, we would talk. some times we had luck nights some times not, but we always had good talks. We were always able to talk to each. we never if we did get mad stay that way long. Such a good man you were. Such a loss you not being here in this world. Will there ever be a day I can think of you with out tears???? it's always the same, i miss you breathing. even now i can't help it. it hurts deep deep in my chest. my head hurts alot when i cry for you. like it wants to explode. I love you Sam, what am I to do? I am trying to go on but you were in the best part of my life and now i am alone with out the man that was always there is no longer. no one to talk to like we did, that understands like you did. my head is killing me baby, i love you and will close for now,i miss you so much Sanford Lee Mallard, just a hug from you or your voice saying you can do it booty, you can do it...........Your Booty

Hey Dad whats up? Nothing much this way just trying to make it and get healthy and back on my feet. Wishing I could do more things but I know thats not possible until I get back on my feet. I miss you so much and I know you are watching over the family and myself. I love you always your baby girl Maya.

May the love of friends and family carry you through your grief.

Hey baby. What am I to do? Since you been gone, it seems I don't like talkin on the phone much at all. I have the hardest time sleeping, have to take pain pills or cold meds. I feel extra tired all the time. The crying has let up just a little bit. I look at our car and wish you were taking me to work and picking me up. I have to drink coffee alone in the mornings, look at the news alone, know one to talk the new over with. Have our grown folk chats and laughter together. I can't stand this feeling I have felt since you have been gone Sam. Remember the little lizard that would stand and run and you would say it was you? Well I saw a some cute seal doing work outs on the new and one put on the cutest smile and it was so you. The little wisker went up like yours would when you would give one of your famous mischivies(i know not correct spelling) smiles :-) Oh baby when will this stop hurting? I hate to even think how mom must feel. My mom and I were talking about you and your cooking and she started crying, remembering that Thanksgiving when the family came down from Denver and you put chitterling in my gibblet gravey and how mad I was with you. She spoke of all the years we have all been together and she misses you dropping by before you would pick me up, how when you did, you always stopped some where to get something for your two to eat and drink and have your talks. She misses you so much. The kids are the same. Tweet told me she had a "Dad Day" at the beginning of this week. Well honey I should be working but i just don't feel like it. But I do want to put some files up before I leave. And I plan to be in this joint at 3:oo am tomorrow (1/18/08) Maya has that appt. @ the University of Denver off Peoria @ 3:00 am. I am looking at your pic at my desk and I am loving you my Sam. Looking in to your eyes, wishing I could kiss your lips, feel you hold me, wishing I could here you say "I love you so much Booty" to hear you sing one more time and hear you Ohhhhh,who who :-). I am starting again my love. I will close now. With all my love Sam. Missing you

Booty

Hey Captain, your sister and mom have been thinking and talking about you alot lately, we all miss you much, your words of wisdom, the little untone jokes you make,we miss all of you man, but the best of all is, "your sprit still speaks strong, to all of us", God bless you and family.

Hello my beautiful man. Here's to loving you. I am working you know, it's 10:42 am and Grover Washington comes on playing "The In Crowd" and I am seeing you at dads house on a sunny day. Cle is in the kitchen cookin one of his throw togethers and you are playing the mess out of that song :-). Saying "Booty Dance for me" Cle saying "You got it man". Baby the days we had in that house around that piano, on those beautiful beautiful sunny days. I love you Sam. I miss you like crazy too....:-(

Your Booty

I miss you honey so much, so much. i know i have not written you during the holidays. right now all i can say is they have never been so so blue. i will talk to you tonight honey. i am at work and with the people around i just want to be able to talk to you in peace. i miss and love you still
yours, booty

Hey,popz it's monique i just stopping by to tell how i'm doing i'm fine as i could say and i'm just checking on you i miss you so much love you and forever be in my heart

hey uncle, the one thing that comes to mind is music I loved hearing you play the electric piano. You had a true natural talent, and I beleived you would have been the best Jazz pianoist in the world! Love u & miss you always

Hey dad just stopping by to let you know that you are always on my mind and never does a day go by that im not thinking about you or my other loved ones I have lost and knowing that you all are together and happy and free and watching over us and doing your best to keep us strong and happy, I know your tring your best to guide us in the right direction and get us away from the pain but I feel it might be a little while longer before we get over our lost of a great Dad,husband,brother, uncle,son,nephew, and the best Grandfather kids could of had. I miss you dad and I know that you are constantly watching over us all. Love always your baby girl Maya

Hi my honey, Sam, I can't stop crying for you. Every day either in the morning, noon or night something happens that I can't contain. Yesterday i was sent and email that one of our patience's had passed and I grabbed his chart and proceeded to do what I do every day with the info, I noticed his birthday was the same as yours but he was born in my year of 55, that just did it to me out of the blue. No reason but here it came and I wanted to see you, talk to you, laugh with you. That took up the rest of my afternoon. I'm happy that I have my own office way on the other side. Only one of my co's noticed and gave me a hug and cried with me more. I was going through the computer photo and they were on as screen savers and your pic. popped up from those last days and you were in the same position you were when you left me and even though I see this every day,tonight i could not hold it in. I miss you baby so much. these holidays are nothing with out you. i have no money this year and i don't care because i am no way feeling it. I feel selfish, i feel like could at least try but i have and i can't feel happiness everyday. i try. i know you will never ever come back to me and i should try to get out of this deep deep deep loss but i can't. how can you get your self back together when half of you has been taken away. Opra's movie was on last week called "One More Day" and I know I am not the only one that wishes for just one more day to be with the ones they love. to have that chance for that last kiss, last hug, last i love you so much. To say I am sorry for any and every thing i ever did to hurt you. To be able to hear from that loved one that they know and don't worry, it's okay, I am not mad, we got over it, was nothing, I will always love you. to be able to laugh with each other one more time. I want more than one more time. I just can't seem to get to the point that you are not here but i know you will never come back. dose that make sense? I can't let go. that is what it is. I have talked with mom and emailed Cee Cee but I feel if I see them I won't be able to control myself. I don't want to see them and cry the whole time. but they are pieces of you and they are pieces i can't really have. when you were here i had you. what i wanted and needed and you were here. you were not a piece. i am so messed up i don't even drink that much anymore, that just made it worse. I don't need any help. I keep my pain to myself most of the time but when i am alone its all you Sam. my dear sweet Sam the love of my life. the only one who knew me and knew what to say and do for us to have our world. I am alone. How is Cle. let him know i will check on him soon. And give huggs to my grandmom,dad,still,Jade,charles and margie. tell my little brother i miss him so much. i know you all are happy. i just wish we all could be happy together. i think i will stop now honey. i need to get my self together Maya is on her way down stairs. Baby she is still sick. she eats a little more but i just keep praying. you should be here i miss you...........Boodie

Hey Sam

Just got the feeling of your presence and thought I might say a thing or two to ya. (Smile)

Its Cold out here 19dgs but the thought of your prescence seem to have cheerd me a lil and made me warm. it,s funny how you can take a lil sorrow and turn it around at times even though I know it,s not gonna last long but I hafta cease the moment, LOL I was thinkin how you would take those drives back and forth every now and then just to see your family in denver mainly MOM (lol) and I now wonder how you could do it? I mean that you would always put others before yourself no matter what! and now it has finaly set in that you were goin through so much pain and suffering and that it was being tookin forgranted becuase everyone expected you to be down here and was not thinkin about how your health was, we just was happy to see you! Man now that I look back it realy must have took a lot of love to make those drives...... Now here I am talking about selfishness and gettin mad cause I know that you wont be driving down for Christmas it just makes me so angry with GOD but who knows you probly gonna fly down with that new set of wings God gave you,LOL cause I know he made you one of his BESTises ANGELS even though im laughing!!! I still have that tear in my eye.(smile} I havn,t Gotten to You and Cle,s tribute in the Denver Post for a moment but it,s starting to grow.
WE LOVE AND MISS YOU SO SO MUCH!
your baby brother,sis Glenora and families.............

Hey Man.
I just cant get to sleep tonight you are so heavy on my mind, I don,t know how im gonna do these holidays without you? but im sure you,ll give me a sign. it realy hurts now but im still hangin in there I love you and miss you so much!
your baby bro

Heaven is for angels,so i know you'll be their.We'll carry on your memories to always feel like your their.I lost my best friend,who would have ever knew.That god gave me a blessin,and angel that was you.You walked with us,and we never saw your wings.But we knew you were an angels by the joy you would always brings.I love you bro. from deep with my soul. It was time for gods angels to come home,that is why we had to let go.

woke up one morning,I could tell something was wrong,birds weren't out chirping their songs. The clouds were sad,and things seem to stop.And then i felt my heart just drop,I got a call,that you were gone.And you left this world alone,how can i say i'm sorry to you,I let you down,i wasn't their for you.But you knew,that we cared,and everynight your in my praises.I'll see you when i get their.

well,popz it's me monique well i miss you so much and i love you i will always love you.I love you and i want to wish you a early christmas

Well dad,it's me again i just wanted to wish you a late happy thanksgiving and tell you that i was thankful to have you in my life when i needed you the most and i want to wish you a very merry christmas and a happy new year's.I sit and i wonder why god didn't give us one last time together and i think the answer to that is look how much i miss you and didn't see you,i look back over the day of the funeral and i remember my head hurting and my noise bleeding and to me it was more deeper then that.See you shared your blood with me,you gave me a taste of what a family was like and what a father was like.You were their for all my kids except demarrea,but i know you visit him because he always says his prayes for you.No one will ever know how much i missed you and what are relationship ment yo me.I've lost 3 of the strongest men in my life that loved me no matter what,but they left me to deal with this crazy world alone.But i know uncle Lester,uncle Junie,and you are watching me and letting me know that everythings going to be alright.Poppie I know i don't have to ask, but watch over momma she needs to know your around,i don't think she's ready to see you yet,but leave here little signs for now. A broken heart is hard to mend,but when you know that in life or death that true friend is around you can pick yourself up off the ground and become strong for the two of you.I try to tell her often I LOVE HER,and I LVE AND MISS YOU TOO.

I hope it is not as hard for you as it is for me. Not a day goes by that I do not think of you. I miss you so much. Some days are harder to control than others. The other day I had a strong urge to call Dad. This strong feelin came from know were. So so strange. The one thing I remember about our family is the big Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners from the time I was really little on Ogden street until just the past few years we would get together. They were alway filled with love and big desire to have everyone there. A lot of our friends love to come to our house for dinner. We would welcome everyone. In the early years I remember standing by the piano and listening to someone play the piano, Vernon, AJ, You, Cle and even my little brother Ricky. Smile. I want to have a big family dinner with all of us again so bad. But now I can only do it in my heart. You thinkin of me? I'm think of you! Babsider

Hey dad just wanted to come by and let you know that im slowly getting well and back on my feet with the help of you watching over me and keeping me strong. I wish we could talk face to face and you could give me some advice on so many things that are going on in my head. I love you with all my heart and miss you. HUGGS and KISSES Dad. Always your babygirl Maya.

Hey dad this was our first Thanksgiving without you, it wasn't bad it was alright we watched movies and ate, Gmom had a nice time being entertained by her great- grandsons. I wish you would have been here to enjoy the meal with us it was hard not having you here. I have one more holiday that will be hard for me to face without you here I love you and just know that you continue to watch over us and keep everyone as sane as possible and guide us in the right direction. I love you dad say high to everybody up there for me. Love your baby girl Maya, Mariah White-Mallard. Lots of huggs dad.

Hey dad today was my birthday and the first one you were not there for and that really hurt I still haven't came to terms of you not being in my life physicaly but I am trying hard to stay strong and know that you are watching over me and the family and keeping us safe. I love you and miss you and wish you were still here for me to see. Love your baby girl Maya.

Tells of a broken heart,having words and not knowing where to start,to lose your very best friend,and to wish to have your heart mend. To tell your soulmate you'll see them again,and how you can't wait to hold their hand.To have them kiss your cheek and hold you at night while you sleep.To have that person to grow old with you and when thier gone you don't know what to do.To play it over and over again,and realize it's true you lost your best friend, those are the tells of a broken heart,let there memories keep you strong and not tear you apart.Always love them with your heart,that because their not far from your heart they are somewhere watch you until it's your time to meet with them again,so remember true love never end,it carries over to the next life.I LOVE YOU DAD I WROTE FOR YOU AND MOMMA.TRUE LOVE WILL STILL LIVE ON.

Hi my honey. As always I am missing you. This is never going to ease up. I cry every day for one reason or another. Something we did or you did or said or looked at or looked like. Or a song (a lot of songs). Something everyday. You are a part of my life and for over 30 yrs you have been in my life. You not being around for me to even talk to long distants is so hard to deal with. Not ever seeing you move, laugh, cry,do anything ever again hurts like crazy. I am not handling my life to well right now. Forever sad is how I am feeling. I don't do much of anything but work and try to sleep. I have gone out with but that's kind of sad because even though I try not to. I drink to much and don't remember to much of the boring night because i know when i come in you won't be there for me to tell you how the night went. You remember. I love you so much Sam. We never got our real chance to relax and breath. I miss you so much. I hope you can here me. I hope you think of me a little. I do know if you really think of people you leave behine like we think but i hope so. i am still waiting for some sort of sign from you letting me know that you still around. you have twice but i want a sighting or touch. i know that is asking to much. but what i wouldn't give to see and be held by you again. I love you my dear man. I love you Sam.....

Hi Family. It's a Sanford and Cleotis day for me today. Miss them both and I keep imagining them walking together. ......

It makes me laugh.

Hi dad lastnight I couldn't sleep, for some reson I just kept thinking of you and how you use to just fall asleep at the drop of a hat. I wish I could fall asleep like that, I kept thinking about you all night and wondering what you are thinking up there about us. And if you were here what would my 22nd birthday be like with you here and happy to eat some cake. I miss you and love you with all my heart. I wish the rest of your grandchildren would have been able to meet and see you before you left this earth but continue to watch over us and keep us safe. Continue to guide us all in the right direction. Love your baby girl Mariah or Maya.

Hey dad I have been thinking of you more and more everyday and know that you are watching over us all and keeping us all safe and trying your best to lead us in the right direction. I know you don't want us draging around and acting as if the world has come to end you are out of pain and in a better place know I can't believe you have been gone for 6 months it feels like forever I miss you and watch over mom for you and the grandson you spoiled to death. Dad I miss like crazy and im proud to say you are my father. I LOVE YOU so so so much. Your baby girl Maya.

HI HONEY, FIRST OF ALL I WANT YOU TO KNOW HOW MUCH I MISS AND THAT IS SO MUCH. I AM AT MY SO CALLED LUNCH AND LOOKING AT YOUR PICTURE WISHING YOU WERE HERE. TODAY YOU HAVE BEEN AWAY FOR 6 MOS. AND IT REALLY HAS KIND OF HIT ME NOW THAT I WILL NEVER SEE OR TOUCH YOU AGAIN. SAM WE HAVE KNOW EACH OTHER 36 YEARS. EVEN WHEN YOU WERE IN CALIF. THERE WERE WAYS OF KNOWING WHAT YOU WERE DOING AND HOW YOU WERE DOING WITH OUT EVEN SPEAKING DIRECTLY TO EACH OTHER. THERE WAS ALWAYS THAT CONTACT. AND THEN BEING BACK TOGETHER FOR 2O YRS AND SOME MONTHS YOU WERE MY LIFE. YOU WERE THE ONLY ONE WHO KNOWS ME. WHO COULD DEAL AND HANDLE ME. YOU WERE THE ONLY ONE I COULD TALK TO ABOUT ANYTHING AND BOY COULD WE TALK ABOUT ANYTHING. I FIND MYSELF CRYING EVERY DAY STILL FOR YOU. I WAKE UP AND SEE YOUR PICTURES AND THINK OF THE DAYS WHEN. I SLEEP AND AS I AM GOING I HOPE YOU WOULD COME SEE ME OR TALK TO ME IN MY DREAMS. I JUST WANT SOME SORT OF CONTACT WITH YOU AGAIN. NOT TO MUCH OF ANYTHING IS FUN ANY MORE. MOM IS STILL IN THAT LONG TERM CARE CENTER. I GO THERE JUST ABOUT EVERY DAY. WHEN ALWAYS MENTION YOUR NAME WITH SMILES ALL THE TIME. I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD FEEL SO ALONE WITH OUT YOU. BUT THEN AGAIN I SHOULD OF. YOU ARE MY HUSBAND, MAN, BEST FRIEND AND AFTER YOU LEFT I FOUND OUT YOU WERE MY LIFE......GOTTA GO FOR NOW. HERE COMES THOSE DAM TEARS...LOVE YOU

hey, popz i miss u so much i love u n wish u waz still here i alway think bout u everyday u will alwayz b n my heart

hey uncle how are you me im just great i miss you so so much i just pretend that your in colo springs and you havent came to see me yet do to bad wearther. so yeah well talk to ya L8R

Morning Honey,
Well it's Saturday morning. It looks like one of those days where you would wake me at around 6am saying booty "Lets hit the creek". I dreamed about you last night. It was strange. In it I was happy then sad all over again. It was so real what was going on. It about you and someone else close but now I can't remember the other person and they (in the dream) were just as important as you almost. But Maya woke me and I, for some reason was glad she did. I miss you so much my Sam. I am still crying. It's like I'm now realizing you are truly gone. That you will never come home and that is really hurting me. I miss you so much that when I cry I get these head achs. I just don't know what to do. I'm not happy. I try. Well these are my feeling today baby. I just love you so much and want to kiss your nose,eyes,face. I want to laugh with you and see your smile and laught. I want to hear you call my name and nick name. I miss you taking me to work and how I would think you drove so slow and that you would make me late. You never did. How we would have to sit and wait for the door to unlock before I could go in. But how much we would have to talk about while waiting. Please God help me calm my heart from hurt of losing my best friend, soul mate, life mate and my man....I will come talk to you later honey. My head hurts. Your wife

Our thoughts and prayers are with you in your time of grief. May your memories bring you comfort.

This is so hard. Sanford was deeply loved and cared for. I miss him daily and deeply. With him and Cleotis leaving us so close together, the blow is hard to absorb. Sanford had such kind eyes when he wasn't being mischevious. I recall his laugh that would just make me laugh too. My earlier memories of him were when I was a kid and seeing him walk down Ogden street with his bow legged stride. Him and Cleotis. What memories we are blessed with. I recall those deep conversations we would get into about life and what it was all about. How he kept an attitude of compassion even when he was going through. How he seldom had a harsh word about anybody and the serious puzzled look he would get in those big brown eyes whenever he was worried about a situation or knew there was something he was going to have to handle that he really didn't want to.

I will miss my big brother all of my days. Denniece, were in this together. It's not easy right now to connect, but we will. My love to all of the family as we are all going through.

God Bless, Your Sis in law .. Bev

You know you will always be my favrite uncle. I miss you a awful lot and think about you and that bowlegged walk. I know you're up there with my dad and auntie and you're watching over them and all of us down here. You had to go watch over your lil brother, because you knew he was going to be too much for God to handle! (lol) I know you're not suffering anymore, and its selfish to say that I and the rest of the family wish you were here, but its true. I felt really bad that I did'nt come back to the hospital like I said was, but it was too much. It was like seeing my mom and dad again! I won't forget the look you gave me right before I left. That look told me that everything was going to be alright and that I would see you again and dont worry, i'll watch over him! I Love You Uncle Sanford and will never, ever forget you!!!!! I dont care what anyone says " I was the Best niece!" so haha!lol

Sam, you were a real nephew to us and we shall always remember you with fond memories. You were never to busy to stop and help us when we asked you; now when we need help with our computer or something else we are at a loss of what to do. But we would not ask you to return because you are free from your sufferings. Love, Uncle Richard and Aunt Gwen

Hey uncle. i miss you so much and i wanna say sorry for the wrong things that you have seen me do that you never thought that i would do. oh i miss you so much i remember when i had a problem that i could never talk to anyone about i could always tell you but we cant do that n e more but i guess i can with you lil sis auntie cece! u know every nite i think of you and it stiil hurts me that you gone. yes n a way im happy because you dont have to hurt no more but in alot of ways im not because we dont have you no more well as you see im at skool so i have to go love ya very much XOXXOXOXOXOX

Hey dad,this is to you.I woke up this morning i knew something was wrong the birds weren't cherpping and the clouds were all grey and i knew this was going to be a crazy day. I look to the skies and the sun was peaking out so it let me know what that was about,I didn't want to believe that it was true i lost the one person who told and showed me what best friends do,i LOVE you and miss you,and i know some nights it's you i see in my sleep. I love you dad.Love talena and family.

Good Morning Honey. It's been 5 months now and I still the loss. I still feel like you are in Denver for the week or something but I haven't heard from you. I am triping I know. I just miss you so much. I am lonely even though people are around. Know one could talk to me, with me but you. Our never ending conversations on nothing. I am still waiting for some other signs than throwing the plant and some pots to the floor like you did last week :-) I miss you so much and will always love you baby. This hurt will never go away and there will never be anyone like you ever again in this world.

Hey, Grandpa i love and miss you very much i know it's past your birthday but i want 2 wish you it any way so i know i didn't act right in school when i was there but i goin 2 do my best just because you told me to staright and it was 2 late 2 tell but i love ya and miss ya

Hey for everyone who has caame in here and sighn this boo i thank you very much i know that my uncle apprie, and so do i kisses

Hello again dad just was thinking about you and how this past holiday we would have been up in the mountains and having fun. I miss you so much but I know where you are now you have no pains and you are watching over all of us and keeping us all safe. I love you so much and miss you dearly dad Huggs and Kissess Love your baby girl Maya.

HEY uncle how are you? me im fine just at skoo and stuff just wanted to say hi and i MISS you dearly ill see ya ! day. hey member that promise i made you bout them As well im working on it i think i have ! so far but ill have more when report cards come ouy watch your gonna be so prowd. well tomarrow is the mallards family picnic so i hope to see auntie deniece there> anyways i gotta go cls ends in 10 min. P.S my dad thinks about cha all the time dnt worrry he'll weite ya soon.XOXO

Hey uncle sam i MISS you so much. its still kinda hard for me to let you go. i've wrote you a poem from the top to the bottom of my heart "I MISS YOU" When i think of love i think of you who has always been there and so so true.I know that there were some bad times that you hadda to go through and how i wish that you didnt have to.That face was filled with so much grace that it would put a smile on anyones face. everyday i think of you and all the fun things we used to do,but now we cant do that because good has callled on to you. They say that we had to part but we cant because your trapped up in my HEART!! To all of my Dear family and friends of my uncle be strong dont be sad because you know that he allways wanted you to be happy when he was here with us and im shure he does now

Absent from the body,present with the Lord. In Heaven every day is a new Birthday.Celabrate with joy always,until we meet again.We miss you Sam.

Happy Belated Birthday Sam,
I am sure you had a big party up in heaven. Let your presence be felt to those who miss u the most.

Well Honey. I don't know what happened but I sent you a Birthday letter yesterday and it is not in there. I am going to call the gazette and find out what happened. It was for you to know how much I love and miss you. And that yesterday when I wrote it was to be dated for your birthday. I know you heard me but that's not the point. Did you,Cle,Stil,Lester,Dad & Grandmom get together? I am not crazy but I must say some times I get a little lost in so much sadness with the loss of you. Yesterday you would of had Maya's cake and Tweet,Maya,the boys (Day & O') and I would of fixed up your choice of what kind of birthday dinner you would want. And we would call you out of the room and act like you are suprised and we sing the happy birthday song, clap and eat. Those were the days. Our lil' family. We did a lot of things. I love you honey and miss you so much....

Hey Dad I bet you thought I forgot nerver that Happy Birthday I miss you so much and not a day goes by that I wish I could hug and kiss you and bake one of my famous cakes for your birthday. Since we all know how you loved my cakes I love and miss you Happy Birthday daddy. Huggs and Kissess-Love your baby girl Maya.

Sam
Gone but never forgotten. Smile down from your heavenly place and let them know you are watching.

Hey Sam,
we did not talk much in life, but I know your spirit is still standing by keeping your loved ones together. The hole that losing a very much loved one leaves never repairs itself, we just get used to the pain as time goes by. I pray Denniece and the girls don't hurt so bad and can honor your memory with nothing but good times and loving stories. Sending my love to u all.

Hey uncle Sam,
Took me a while to try and figure out what to say after coming to the page numerous times. But it just comes down to tellin you I Love You and miss you. We all do! Aunty, I think about cha all the time, missing ya and hoping your staying strong holding down the fort and taking care of ms mariah... I love you and I guess I need to pick up the phone sometime....

Hey Sam, thinking of u today and how u were always the silent partner.U did not say much, but your actions spoke loud. I pray for peace and serenity for Denniece and the girls.
ps
Joshua's memorial obit is online now for about 3 more weeks Hang in there my sistah.

i was just thinking about the time you took me and Rick up to Boulder to visit Cece in that old white van you had, man you were so cool, Sam you had a way about expressing what was on your mind what ever it was you were sure to get it out one way or another it seemed to be done in a respecfully mannerable fashion, miss you Sam.

Janaldo

All of my life I have had big brothers there to talk to, to protect me and to make me strong. Sanford and Cleoutis I must continue to believe that you are still keeping me strong, only just from above.
To write this is so hard for me. Because to write this indicates again that you are no longer on this earth. I miss you so much. A fact that I am still trying to face and fight over and over again. I love you both so so much.

In my heart forever!
Babe Sider (smile)

Hey Honey, I miss you. I am just writing to wish you a happy fathers day. wish you were here. I had gotten you and outfit for this day and I will hold it for awhile for my reasons. Love you all my life

Your wife
Denniece aka booty

6/15/07
Hello Honey, You have been on my mind pretty much all of last night and today. More for some reason than days of late. I miss you so much my best friend, my for ever love. It's hard coming home knowing that I'm never going to be able to have some sort of conversation with you ever again. Something we did every day over 21 years. You asking me to come see what you have cooked, drawn, recorded, put on the computer, and so many other things that you kept your self busy doing. I now find so many momories in your old "MY ROOM". Notes to me, I found a lot. Sam, Mariah is still sick and still they know nothing. But she tries to keep me company and she is doing a good job. Maya has her own I MISS MY DAD moments I know all the girls are. Mostly when they are a lone in their own thoughts and memories. Baby you would really trip on all the kids now even in this short time that you have been away. O'Shay has really grown. Remember when you said you wanted O' to be a little older and when he grabs your finger he will be ready for you. He'll be a real boy, and then you will be able to keep him around you alone. Well he love to yell out loud, claps his hands and jumps while you hold him. He now has a third tooth coming at the bottom of his mouth and pushes off on things. My mom fell and broke her leg yesterday (6/14/07) she has had surgery and so far is coming out alright. We will see. I Love you Sanford and miss you so much. Seeing your smile and listening to you sing, and seeing you walking around with that or should I say those pull on hats. I am feeling so along Sam. You were the only one that really knew me. You knew where my head was at and I knew you. It's so hard....

My Dear Denniece,
I've only met you a few times, but I have known "Sandman" for over 20 years. I was a very close friend of his sister Stanelia, and when I met "Sandman," he was always friendly and genuinely kind to me. He made me feel like one of the family. I will truly miss him and I pray you will not suffer too long for your loss. You, as well as your family, are in my prayers and I will always keep "Sandman" in my heart. God Bless You.
Sincerely,
Sandy

My prayers will continue to be with you and your family. Dee, some people never get the chance to have a love like you have with Sam. Remember the good times and the love will get you through.
Love, Laura

Sam, you will surely be missed. I'm glad that I had a chance to meet you before I moved to Georgia. Denniece talked about you all the time and you brought so much life into her life. My thoughts and prayers are with the family & I just want Denniece to know that I am so sorry and to let you know that "The storm is over now"

I will always remember seeing Sam out in the car, waiting for Denniece to get off work. Sometimes I would stop and ask him how he was doing. I am so sorry for your loss. I know that you must have a lot of wonderful memories of your life together.

Sam was the most generous and caring man. I only knew him during his sickness, but have heard all about the man before that. He would give the shirt off of his back to a total stranger if they needed it. He will be missed by all who knew him. I am a better person from having known him.

To my dearest friend, Thank you for giving me the pleasure of meeting such a dear man, Your man Sam. Be strong in this time and remember that the true love we share never dies. Your dearest friend, Lisa

I love and miss the man I knew as my father for 20 years plus.He will never be replaced or forgotten and will always live deep in my heart and soul. I know he is having a ball and out of pain and watching over all his loved ones and friends and want us to celebrate his leaving us not moarn his dismissal. I love you dad and I know you love me also. Huggs and Kisses.

5/25/07 My Dearest Sanford. Today makes it one whole month that you have been away from us and I truly miss you Sam. It has been so hard trying to except that you are really gone. I keep having these thoughts that you were just doing a hospital stay and that you will be out soon. But there is no one to visit and you will never come home. And after knowing you more that 36 years and being together for 21. The girls, grand kids and I have a lot to remember you by and not a day passes by that we do not have a laugh or cry. You know how when we first found out you were sick and how I tried to distants my self from you so it would not hurt so bad? It didn't make a diffrence. This is tearing me up inside and I am trying so hard to pull myself together but it is going to take a real real long time. And that will never happen..

Missing you and always loving you.

Your wife Denniece

Denniece and family, God picks his flowers when in full bloom and brightest, that's why his garden is so beautiful. My thoughts and prayers are with you in this awful time. Whenever you need me I'm just a call away. Your big sis

My thoughts and prayers are with you all during this rough time

To my dear friend and sister in Christ.Denniece,my heart goes out to you and your family in this time of sadness. Please know that our thoughts and prayers are with you. Know that God our Father and comforter will carry you through the tough times.I Love you, God Bless.

Sarah (Cookie)& Walter Johnson